What You Missed Last Month in New York City (According to Linux)
09 December 2021
This is What You Missed Last Month (According To Linux), in which nightlife it-girl Linux takes us behind the velvet rope and into the VIP section of Scene-City. Through her extreme (sometimes exaggerated) lens, Linux gives us the tea on what really happened at every party-of-the-century that floods our Instagram feeds. (A note from the author: don’t take what she says too seriously — she’s just a club kid after all).
November is a month of real audacity, especially for those dwelling in Scene City. In order to maintain our New Yorkhood, we find ourselves in a state of constant hustle and scam. At times it can feel like living in this city is comparable to riding a unicycle in a jester hat while juggling bowling pins. And then, as if we’re not devoted enough to "making it" here, the month of November (and more specifically Thanksgiving) tells us to slow down, take a breath and "be grateful" for what our city has given us.
In these five boroughs, when we’re told to do something, we do the opposite. We don’t say "thank you," we say "you’re welcome." While the transplants went back to Minnesota to break bread with America’s heartland, the real New Yorkers held our city down. In fact, November ended up being one of the most party-filled months we’ve had in a while. To the traitors who returned to Ohio to see grandma, don’t worry: as the New York downtown it-girl, I got myself into every single one... and I am ready to spill all the tea on the things I saw and the people I did.
But first, lets address the Loewe Elephant bag in the room. Yes, as I’m sure we can all see my column does have a new home. I’m at PAPER now! And no, unfortunately there’s no scandalous tea with the publication move. Your parents aren’t getting divorced, they’re just sleeping with other people. Now, let’s talk parties...
Anya Taylor Joy (Photo courtesy of Getty)
In the beginning of the month I began hearing word of the fashion party of the year: the CFDA awards. Upon the announcement, I immediately contacted every industry-adjacent frenemy I knew. After sending multiple texts promising endless list spots and drink tickets in exchange for an invite, I secured my RSVP. Yes, I do admit that I crashed the CFDA awards, but remember, it's not embarrassing because I’m Linux and I get away with everything!
The event took place at the Upper East Side’s The Pool + The Grill. Apparently, it’s been around since the '50s. I didn’t want to completely steal the red carpet show from Zendaya, so I skipped the step and repeat and walked directly into the venue. This wasn’t just a celebrity event, it was a fashion-celebrity event, which meant the stars were B-List and the designers were A-List. Before we all took our seats, me and the fashion world’s elite gabbed and had cocktails from the open bar. Emily Blunt, from The Devil Wears Prada, was hosting the awards and anxiously went from group to group saying, "I’m not even nervous!” (I think that meant she was nervous.) I told Daniel Lee, formerly of Bottega, that I had him listed for a Susanne Bartsch party back in September and I didn’t end up seeing him but I hoped he had fun. He responded with, “Oh that... yeah... I didn’t end up going."
After being snubbed by the most iconic people in fashion (and loving it!) I finally found solace in my friend, Anya Taylor Joy, sporting a purple Oscar de la Renta. We were just together in San Francisco for our friend, Ivy Getty’s, wedding the week prior drinking champagne with Nancy Pelosi and eating caviar with Olivia Rodrigo, so we had a lot to talk about. The conversation came to an end once I started asking if her hair is a wig or not. (I truly think it might all be her hair! Imagine?) Anya went on later that evening to be honored with CFDA’s first-ever Face-of-the-Year award. I don’t remember much after that, as the open bar got the best of me. But what I do remember is Gossip Girl's Evan Mock still won’t talk to me!
Al Pacino (Photo courtesy of Getty)
Father... son... you know the rest! For almost a week I had heard rumors that there was going to be a New York premiere for Lady Gaga’s new film, House of Gucci, but after searching every variation of "you’re invited" and "house of gucci" in my inbox to see if I missed something, I began to lose hope. That Tuesday, after being at a photoshoot for about 12 hours, I got a text from my stylist, Airik Prince, that not only did he have a plus one for me, but he also had archive Gucci for me to wear. At that point, I was already preoccupied shooting my first cover, so I had to miss the premiere, but I didn’t miss the afterparty, and that’s all we really care about anyways, right?
The afterparty took place at Rockefeller Center’s Rainbow Room. If you’re a New Yorker, you know that 364 days of the year, Rainbow Room is a tragic tourist trap. And then, once a year a brand rents the place out and it becomes the stage for ultimate New York debauchery and overindulgence. That one time a year when there’s a party at Rainbow Room, you go! I got there around 10, changed into the Gucci by Tom Ford in the lobby men’s bathroom (camp!) and took the elevator up to the 65th floor. As I went up, Gaga’s mother, Cynthia Germanotta, came down.
The first thing I saw when the elevator doors opened? Food, food and more food. There were probably four buffet tables, consisting of meats, fruits cheese, desserts, finger sandwiches and my favorite: caviar. To be honest, I didn’t even eat anything, but it was really comforting knowing it was there. I saw a familiar looking brunette in Ferragamo and asked my friend who it was. "That’s Brooke Shields, you idiot." Oh... right. They didn’t confiscate our phones, but they might as well have. Whenever I’d go to take a picture my phone would be swatted away by security. In a corner talking to Gaga’s manager, I saw a few of my other "friends" were there too, who accidentally forgot to mention they were even going! The shade!
A little later, I found out in person that Adam Driver is like eight feet tall, so hot. Unfortunately, Queen-of-the-Universe Lady Gaga herself didn’t make an appearance, but the girl’s got a busy schedule so I don’t blame her. Al Pacino was in the DJ’s ear the entire night, who stuck to Studio 54 vibes, and together we all danced in Gucci overlooking all of Manhattan. At the end of the night, we realized the DJ (and Pacino, they were basically playing b2b at this point) didn’t play any Gaga, so I begged them to at least end the night with "Rain on Me." They obliged! I don’t consider myself to be a particularly ethical person, but I am fair!
Ladyfag and Amanda Lepore (Photography: Santiago Felipe)
It seems like every month I’m talking about Battle Hymn, but this party really is that girl! Every month in Chelsea, Ladyfag brings out all the gays and legendary children. This month’s Battle Hymn was extra legendary, as we were celebrating the most expensive body on earth: Amanda Lepore. A nine-months pregnant Ladyfag, dressed as a '60s fembot, ran around the club saying she might have to induce labor at the party, pointing out how iconic it would be for her to give birth in her Battle Hymn look.
At around 1 AM, Ladyfag took to the stage to say a few short words. “As you can tell, yes I am going to have my baby soon, and when I do, I plan to take a break from partying... for like a week or two!” The crowd cheered, laughing. "But the real reason we are all here tonight is to celebrate the birthday of the gorgeous and glamorous Amanda Lepore!” In that moment, two men lifted Amanda on stage and then brought out a giant candlelit birthday cake. Amanda did her best to blow out the candles (it's quite the task with her delicately feminine little lungs!) The night ended at 4 AM, where the gays took to the streets to trample over one another for the nearest cab and Uber.
Ruby Fox, Janelle No. 5, Papito Sauve, Aquaria, Beaujangless and Xunami Muse (Photography: Leandro Justen)
Its been a while since I’ve written about a party at 3 Dollar Bill, but this month a Brooklyn party that’s been making waves lately, NSFW, caught mine and the rest of the city’s attention. Produced by Papito Suave and Janelle No. 5, the self proclaimed “premiere QPOC” party happens monthly. With a cast of about 25 it-kids at Brooklyn’s hottest gay club, the party was a total success!
What made this NSFW even more special was that it celebrated the birthday of New York iconic drag queen, Ruby Fox. One word to describe the night? Sexy. Dark red pulsating lights, guests dressed in bondage, and music to fuck trade to gave me (and the rest of Brooklyn) everything we needed. For shows we had Aquaria, Xunami Muse and Ruby Fox herself. Once the birthday queen came out, the crowd basically drowned her in dollar bills. The night ended with one of my favorite DJs, Lafayette Bless, blasting Nicki Minaj’s verse from "Monster." Pull up in the Sri Lanka!
No matter how hard we tried to ignore Thanksgiving’s manifesto of gratitude this month, New York had a way of doing that thing it always does. We thought we were being rebellious AF by staying ‘business as usual’ and avoiding going back to our hometowns, not realizing until December 1 that by filling those dancefloors in the greatest city on earth, we ended up at home with our families saying "thank you" just like everybody else.
Photography: Megan Walschlager
Art direction: Chris Correa
Styling: Airik Prince