What You Missed Last Month in New York City (According to Linux)

What You Missed Last Month in New York City (According to Linux)

by Linux

This is What You Missed Last Month (According To Linux), in which nightlife it-girl Linux takes us behind the velvet rope and into the VIP section of Scene-City. Through her extreme (sometimes exaggerated) lens, Linux gives us the tea on what really happened at every party-of-the-century that floods our Instagram feeds. (A note from the author: don’t take what she says too seriously — she’s just a club kid after all).

The first month of every year is a lot like having blue balls. And no, I don’t just mean that because New York’s below-freezing temperatures may actually have the power to turn our balls blue. For weeks leading up to 2022, we strategize on how starting January 1st we’ll reinvent and rebrand. Let’s get healthier, hotter and happier... it’ll feel so good!

However, once reality enters the chat, it becomes clear what January actually consists of. To get healthier actually means half our party friends take part in the dreaded Dry January. To get hotter means we’re going to bed hungry or wasting our meals on Chik’n and bodega salads. And to get happier means refraining from the guilty pleasure that is toxic drama.

All that dirty talk of our beloved new beginnings turned out to be the most anticlimactic and anti-fun lay of our lives, leaving us wanting nothing more than to do drugs, eat meat and talk shit again like the good old days. In short: we just want to cum already!

Luckily, not everyone went into hibernation this month. In fact, there were more iconic party nights in January than I had anticipated. In the name of New York Nightlife, I bypassed my health, hots and happy to instead go to every single event that happened in the city, and I can’t wait to tell you all about them.

To the sheep who took the month off to work on themselves: I’ll never forgive you! To the true New Yorkers who kept nightlife going during the driest month of the year: I’ll never stop thanking you!

January 8: HER

What do you do when New York decides to call it quits? Vegas baby! Luis Fernando, a gay AF DJ and party producer threw his monthly party Her at Brooklyn’s 3 Dollar Bill. The theme this month was "Viva Las Vegas." The thing I love about Her is when this party does a theme... they do a theme! The entire nightclub was revamped to resemble a true Las Vegas casino. There was a Craps and Blackjack table, campy neon signs everywhere and smoking allowed inside! (Come to think of it, the smoking definitely wasn’t allowed... but don’t tell Brenda!)

Luis Fernando, P_A_T and Rocket DJ’d. Magenta, Ruby Fox and my favorite, Derrick Barry, performed. It’s not Vegas without Britney, Bitch! The infamous Britney Spears impersonator gave the crowd a 15-minute Britney medley. For a second there, I really thought I was at a Britney concert, but that could’ve been the K! Vegas’ other legendary queen, Kimora Blac, was also there.

After we partied like we were in Vegas for hours and gambled away our paychecks, the entire club came back to my place and we after-partied like we were in Bushwick until the sun rose. The next HER is February 12 and it's themed, "I <3 NY." Don’t miss it!

January 14: Susanne Bartsch x Jordan Millington Art Show

In the beginning days of January, New York Nightlife CEO Susanne Bartsch began sharing the most sickening photos from a shoot with Jordan Millington to her instagram. “To see the rest of the amazing photos we took last summer, come to our art Gallery opening on January 14th,” Susanne wrote on her socials. As her iconic FIT exhibit in 2015 proved, one of the many things Susanne Bartsch knows how to do, is an art exhibition.

On a subzero Friday night, Susanne and Jordan invited the city to a two-story gallery in Soho to show off (and sell!) over 40 large-scale acrylic prints of possibly the greatest images made of Susanne in her entire career. On the ground floor, hundreds of club kids, fashion it-people and rich art-daddies gabbed over glasses of champagne. Downstairs, a fog machine set to full blast pumped vibes into the air while techno-star-DJ TT played on CDJS. The hair on all the images was done by hair-god Sean Bennett. The crowd was hot and the cater waiters were even hotter.

It was the first time this scene of people were really seeing each other out and about since New Years, making the next quite the fabulous reunion. Nightlife stars like Kyle Farmery, Austin James Smith and Amanda Lepore all showed face. After the show ended, we all invaded NY Staple Indochine (thanks to the manager, CT Hedden!) for the best French-Viet-fusion late night meal a cool kid could ask for.

January 15: A Random night at Basement

After 15 days straight into 2022, and all of my junkie friends nowhere to be found, I was craving a techno-fueled bender in Bushwick. Just below Knockdown Center in Brooklyn sits one of New York’s most infamous party dungeons: Basement. On any given weekend, you will find an it kid, muscle daddy or micro-celebrity at the venue, dancing there until the wee hours of the morning to famous DJ’s you’d typically only see playing at Berghain. I’ve seen Anwar Hadid there twice!

It’s easy to get lost in Basement and impossible to be disappointed. I decided this is where I would spend my Saturday. What I love the most about Basement is the "green room" doubles as a second club. And inside the green room are even more green rooms. Essentially, there’s endless opportunities to enter into deeper and deeper VIP sections. Sometimes the best moments at Basement happen six VIP doors deep, where only an owner or investor can make it into. Photos aren’t allowed, but even if they were, the fog is too thick for your camera to pick up anything. The cool kids all dance front left of the DJ booth and the gays all have sex back right by the catacombs.

I had one of the greatest nights in months, even though I can hardly remember what happened! If it’s a Friday or a Saturday night in NYC and you want to rave, look no further. Basement will always give you what you didn’t know you needed! This is also where bad-boy party Wrecked takes place. I stayed there until 6 AM and on my way out the dance floor was still packed and the bpm was pushing 180.

January 30: 23rd Annual Glam Awards

All year long, nightlife industry it-kids work their asses off to be number one in this city. Some gauge their success on income, some on opportunities and others on Instagram followers. All can agree that the drag queens, gay party promoters, and Hell’s Kitchen regalia gauge their success in Glam Awards. Each year, Cherry Jubilee throws a massive nightlife awards ceremony where industry peeps choose the winners of categories, ranging from "Best Club Party” to "Best Bartender." Brita Filter and Rosé hosted.

For the first time ever, all my friends were nominated for at least one category. I was nominated for four: Scene Queen, Best Dressed, Best Party Promoter and Best Nightlife Writer. At Sony Hall near Times Square, all of nightlife’s working class came together to not only see who won, but to also be seen themselves. The climax of each Glam Awards show is the winner of Entertainer of the Year, who this year was none other than Janelle No. 5. Other standout winners were myself for Scene Queen, Aquaria for Best Video, and Frankie Sharp’s The Q for Best Club.

But, let’s be real: an awards show isn’t an awards show without some controversy. Competing Glam Awards nominees couldn’t wrap there brains around why Best DJ was won by someone who just started DJing last week, or why Best Club Night was won by a now-cancelled sit-down drag show. In my opinion, however, who wins the awards isn’t necessarily what’s important. The fact that the Glam Awards has brought the entire nightlife community to come together to appreciate their peers for the past 23 years is the more impactful than any award one could win.

After the show, it’s become tradition to storm a random Hell’s Kitchen bar and party as one big nightlife fam until the lights come on. This year, unofficial after party was obviously at Q. Thank you Cherry Jubilee for your hard work on keeping the scene together for over two decades, you are hands down one of the key players in New York nightlife.

Photography: Megan Walschlager
Art direction: Chris Correa
Graphic design: Chris Correa
Styling: Airik Prince
Hair: Airik Prince
Jacket and boots: Adrienne Landau