'The Real Housewives' Can't Stop Outing Each Other

During last night's reunion episode, longtime friend-of and former Housewife Adriana de Moura was accused by Julia Lemigova, an out lesbian, of sleeping with her in the Hamptons. The bombshell was unprecedented on the show, but not necessarily in the universe of shows just like it.

In a teaser for next week's episode, Lemigova then explained that her and tennis legend Martina Navratilova's was on the rocks, and that she and de Moura likewise "fooled around in the Versace mansion," providing further details of their extramarital trysts. De Moura, for what it's worth, has never publicly identified as bisexual or otherwise, but did previously claim that Lemigova taught her that "love has no gender."

She said all of that in the pouring rain during a heartfelt and tear-soaked confession of totally platonic love between the two.

Past the initial shock of the confession, last night's episode was a particular low for both of them, as it moved the conversation well past fan speculation. There is now proof — which de Moura contests — that there was a physical component to their relationship. It paints Lemigova like the confused, heartsick woman scorned by her closeted former lover. Or, it paints Lemigova like an opportunist and de Moura like she's sexually confused.

There's also a world where Lemigova is both scorned and an opportunist; it is a world where de Moura is likewise scorned and confused.

On a show staffed almost exclusively by women tasked with tearing each other apart, it's no real surprise that "lesbian allegations" are a regular occurrence. But it never really works, not for the women or the shows they rip apart in the process. The Real Housewives of Atlanta imploded after Porsha Williams accused Kandi Burruss of secretly trying to drug and have sex with her. Granted, the sexual assault element of that exacerbated the issue between the cast, but the accusation nonetheless precipitated multiple shakeups over the following years that the show still hasn't recovered from.

On The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, cast members crusaded against Brandi Glanville and Denise Richards for an alleged extramarital affair. Viewers were confounded at the time by the vitriol the cast harbored towards the women, who were both consenting adults in the supposed situation between them. The fallout permanently stained Lisa Rinna's reputation on the network, leading to her eventual ouster. Others like Kyle Richards had the narrative loop back around on her when cast questioned her admittedly confusing relationship with rising country star Morgan Wade.

Mere seasons after Denise Richards was ran off the show, cast turned their gay panic on Richards, whose own marriage was on the ropes while she jet set around the globe with Wade, who she admitted to stalking online. A music video where she played Wade's secret housewife lover only added to fuel to the fire, as did various lyrics of Wade's seemingly alluding to their off-screen antics.

Even recounting the instances feels played out at this point, nearly 20 years into the franchise's domination of reality television. I don't doubt that something transpired between Lemigova and de Moura, and the very worst part of me is delighted by the explosion of a new bombshell secret in the heart of the Bravo canon. Lemigova's own lesbian identity only complicates things, because now it's gone well beyond another instance of (supposedly) straight women hurling "vagina" around like it's an insult.

A lesbian cast member — the first to join The Real Housewives as a lesbian ever — revealed an affair with her former best friend and fellow co-worker. The bombshell will likely sustain the rest of their time on this show, but history has proven that there can be no coming back from this, not for either of them or this show. It is good drama, certainly.

Kyle Richards refused to play ball about her relationship to Morgan Wade, but it did make for good drama. It was excruciating to watch Denise Richards and Brandi Glanville get raked over the coals for their alleged affair, but it did make good drama. Kandi Burruss' shock and horror at Porsha Williams' claim that she tried to drug and have sex with her, and the double reveal it was Phaedra Parks who set her up to do it, led to the very first four part reunion in the history of the network. It made for excellent drama.

But the higher the stakes, the higher the consequences once that gambit plays out onscreen. Lemigova may have made history twice now alongside de Moura, and perhaps she'll make it again in the aftermath. Maybe there's a world out there where this all played out while the two were still in love, as friends or lovers or both, but that is a fanciful dream after last night's episode.

We live in this world, where queer women are cannon fodder on The Real Housewives and a growing national backlash against their identities only deepens the tragedy of that longstanding wartime strategy. I'd wish them all luck, but I don't think even the gods or Andy Cohen can save them now.

​Images via Getty