Everything You Missed at the 2025 Las Culturistas Awards

Our boys actually pulled it off — and by our, I mean Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, who are “our boys” in the sense that they were gay guys on the internet who are now gay guys on TV. (See you on the island, though!) As I said previously, their success seems to incite rage on the parts of Twitter that spend a bit too much time each day tweeting about top and bottom dynamics while also browsing Sniffies at their dying grandmother’s bedside.

Thankfully, the engagement rates are through the roof on the Las Culturistas Awards, and I want in on the action. So in my attempt at carving off any last scrap of meat from podcasting’s prized pigs, I’ve helpful compiled both a list of winners and the highlights of the night.

All the (Important) Winners of the 2025 Las Culturistas Awards:

Titan of Culture

• Kenan Thompson

Lifetime of Culture

• Allison Janney

Gabby Windy accepts award for Best New Artist

Artist of the Millennium

• Miss Piggy
• Boop!
• Pamela Anderson
• Jack Antonoff
• Mulan

Record Of The Year

• “Abracadabra” – Lady Gaga
• “Diet Pepsi” – Addison Rae
• “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” – Aerosmith
• “Massachusetts” – Jensen Mcrae
• “Soup” – Remi Wolf

Law Roach presents award for Outfit of the Year

Album Of The Year

• Mayhem – Lady Gaga
  
• Am I the Drama? – Cardi B
• Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 7
• Stripped – Christina Aguilera
• 1989 – Taylor Swift

Finalist Of The Year

• Dr. Orna Guralnik
• Gabbriette
• Delta Work
• Boop!
• Meghann Fahy
  

Bowen and Matt perform “Abracadabra”

Outfit Of The Year

• Demi Moore’s yellow coat – The Substance
• Timothée Chalamet – Knicks game
• “Protect the dolls” t-shirt
• When a pretty girl gets coffee in just sweatpants and tank top
• Lisa Rinna in whatever she wants
  

Best New Artist

• Domingo
• Dr. Victoria Frankenstein
• Eva Victor
• Miss Eggy
• Gabby Windey
  

Best Picture – Literal Picture

• Dylan Efron Butt In Air
  
• Luigi Mangione reveal
• Lisa Rinna M&M
• Walton Goggins during Sam Rockwell’s crazy ass monologue – The White Lotus
• Picture of horse that a child drew

Parvati Shallow Presents The Eva Longoria Award for Tiny Woman, Big Impact

Allison Williams Cool Girl Award

• Lisa Rinna M&M
• Lisa – Blackpink
• Lisa Simpson – The Simpsons
• Lisa from Temecula
• Paige DeSorbo
  

Santa Award For Being Unforgettable

• Daisy Duck
• Toad – Mario
  
• Sarah Snook
• Gagachella
• Rosie O’Donnell – And Just Like That

Most Amazing Impact In Film

• AI, unfortunately (and we can tell when it is)
• Kate Winslet hat intro – Titanic
• Music and scoring in film
• Jeff Goldblum’s chest – Jurassic Park
  
• Paul Giamatti, blue paint – Big Fat Liar

Rachel Bloom Presents Best News We Heard

Most Iconic Exchange of Words

• ”Defying Gravity” intro – Ari and Cynthia
• “High body count hair – Angie Katsanevas
  
• “Does he make you laugh?” “He doesn’t make me cry” – Ocean’s Eleven
• “Does he gag you?” “He doesn’t clock my tea” – meme of Ocean’s Eleven
• “But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean at the end” “Well, baby, I went down and got it for you.” “Awwwww, you shouldn’t have” – Britney Spears – “Oops!… I Did It Again”

Best Movie Of All Time

• Tár
  
• A Star Is Born (2017)
• Gagachela Bootleg from Videomoon.cn
• The Incredibles
• The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps

Best Gay Guy – Famous

• Jonathan Bailey
• Andrew Scott
• Andy Cohen
  
• Tramell Tillman
• The one you’re thinking? Him.

Social Change Moment Of The Year

• Gagachella
  
• College Students do what they’ve been educated to do
• JoJo Siwa continues to evolve
• Zohran Mamdani press tour being somehow not cringe
• When a gay celebrity writes a children’s book

Moon Award For Shining Brightly

• Michelle Williams – Death Becomes Her
• Michelle Williams – Dying For Sex
• Sarah Sherman in a wig
• Dreamworks moon with the boy on it who fishes
  
• Chase Sui Wonders – The Studio

Sun Award For So F-ckin’ Hot

• Lucy Dacus
  
• Cate Blanchett
• Dr. Orna Guralnik
• Bad Bunny – Calvin Klein
• Coffee that your new lover just brought back from the store and oh my god he should have told me this was gonna be so hot? Things are starting to go south

Eva Longoria Award For Tiny Woman, Huge Impact

• Boop!
• Sabrina Carpenter
• Quinta Brunson
  
• Toad – Mario
• AOC

Song Of The Summer

• “Flowers” – Miley Cyrus
• “Espresso” – Sabrina Carpenter
  
• “Party in the USA” – Miley Cyrus
• “Graduation (friends forever)” – Vitamin C
• “Sweet Caroline” – ???

Famke Janssen Name Award

• Charlie Puth
• Mariska Hargitay
• Dr. Victoria Frankenstein
• Betty Boop
• Madison Beer
  

Grief Of The Year

• Avatar 2: The Way Of Water
• Bowen’s birthday was the day after the 2024 election
• The boat episode of Succession
• When we thought for a second pervy lil bro died on The White Lotus from the protein smoothie
  
• Paige left Summer House

Woman Of A Certain Age Award

• Jenna Ortega – 22
• Dame Helen Mirren – 79
• Queen Elizabeth I – Elizabethan Age
• Betty Boop – Timeless
  
• Winona Ryder – The Age of Innocence

Style Icon Award

• Zendaya
• Shrek
• Anna Wintour
• Dracula
• Dr. Orna Guralnik
  

Cover Our Bases Award For Thing You Have To Admit Happened This Year

• Law and Order: It Ends With Us
  
• Karla Sofía on CNN
• Adrien Brody spit his gum out at the Oscars, threw it to his date and Matt and Bowen were in the shot
• “A MINOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” at the Super Bowl
• Subway Series, we think?

Jamie Lee Curtis Award For Gusto, Enthusiasm And Individuality

• Benson Boone flipping
• Gagachella
• Womencrafts Provincetown
  
• Julia Fox
• Monstro Wlisasue

Pop Crave Award For Excellence In Journalism

• Kaitlan Collins
• George Clooney
• Steve Kornacki (the other election, not this one)
• Amelia Dimoldenberg
  
• Conclave (2024)

Best 2023 Moment

• Barbenheimer
• Eras Tour
• Chinese spy balloon
• Ariana Madix tears Sandoval up
• Gwyneth Paltrow skiing lawsuit
  

Tina Turner Legend Award

• Audra McDonald
• Clairo
• Melissa Etheridge
• Monstro Elisasue
• Cecily Strong

People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive

• Daniel Dae Kim
• Dylan O’Brien
• Dylan Efron
  
• Boston Rob
• Tramell Tillman

The Greatest Showman

• Sutton Foster
  
• Cole Escola
• Jeff Goldblum
• Kermit the frog
• Miss Piggy

Shot We Are Shooting In This Moment

• Cher on Las Cultch
• Celine Dion on Las Cultch
• Barbra on Las Cultch
• Oprah on Straightiolab
• Taylor Swift

The Sweat Tour Award For Best Live Indoor Performance

• The Sweat Tour
• Brat Tour
  
• “Killah” — Lady Gaga — SNL
• BOOP!
• Bowen Yang, Lady Gaga — “No More Slay” — SNL

The Cowboy Carter Award For Best Live Outdoor Performance

• “Sunset Boulevard” – Sunset Blvd.
• Cowboy Carter
  
• Rachel Zegler – Evita
• Bowen Yang feat. Matt and Celeste “Apple” dance – Coachella
• Chappell Roan – music festivals

Creatine Award For Straight Male Excellence

• Bad Bunny – Calvin Klein
• Sebastian Stan – various
• Senator Bernie Sanders
• Andy Samberg – Various
  
• Jack Antonoff – co-author of “Manchild”

Image via Getty