As you and I worry about paying rent during COVID-induced economic meltdown, Cardi B and Offset's two-year-old has just added the world's most coveted luxury bag to her designer wardrobe.
Kulture was gifted baby's first Birkin by her father, who shared a video of her reaction on Instagram. The colorway is an age-appropriate Barbie pink, but the toddler looks only mildly impressed with Offset's $8,000 purchase. Per one unhappy commenter: "She don't want that shit she want some Sketchers that light up when she walk."
There's a lot to unpack (from that signature Hermes burnt orange box) here, but it feels unfair to single out Kulture when there are myriad wealthy celebrity children who have taunted us in recent months. Kylie Jenner's daughter Stormi just received a playhouse with more square footage than my Brooklyn apartment, and let's not forget North West's 14 gorgeous Friesian horses. (I have just one modest Clydesdale on my ranch.)
Cardi B agrees. After reading through the responses from angry peasants, she went live to defend Offset's purchase. "I know when celebrities buy their kids jewelry and designer shit, people be like 'Kids don't care about that, they only care about toys and candy,'" she informed viewers. "But the thing is, kids also go outside. Kids go to restaurants, kids go to fancy places. Celebrity kids, they go do red carpets."
Consider this logic as you watch the video on loop, alternating tabs between Offset's Instagram and the New York Times coronavirus death statistics before heading off to work because your state government decided unemployment figures were more important than human lives.