Behold, the red carpet stars of the 2022 MTV Video Music Awards: Chris Olsen (who a cursory Google search of gave me an article appropriately headlined "Who is Chris Olsen?" beneath his Instagram), Olivia O’Brien, Yung Gravy, Nessa Barrett, Mae Muller, Laura Perlongo and Justina Valentine. I’m sure to some these names mean a great deal. Maybe one day that some will be many. Hell, maybe one day I’ll be among the many. But today is not that day. No, today is a day after an award show unable to deliver even a single moment on par with the famed 2009 ceremony.
For years, or rather more specifically since the dawning of the age of the influencer, the MTV VMAs, once a paragon of the elusive cool, have become increasingly known for the amount of times viewers can take bathroom/snack breaks throughout. Sure, you had your pop culture staples (Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj, Lil Nas X) and your throwbacks (Red Hot Chili Peppers, Avril Lavigne, Fergie), but the cadre of wholebrities seemed even more inflated than usual.
It’s not that nothing happened — Bad Bunny attempted to recreate the Madonna/Britney/Christina kiss, inserting a male dancer in the Xtina role, Taylor Swift announced a new album while winning Video of the Year, Johnny Depp tastelessly appeared twice in pre-recorded segments projected onto a moonman, Dove Cameron dedicated her Best New Artist win to “all the queer kids out there,” while Eminem and Snoop Dogg, meanwhile, performed their collaboration, “From the D 2 The LBC,” in the metaverse — it’s just that nothing of great note happened.
No surprise Britney/Elton performance, no unexpected appearances and certainly none of the chaos the show was once known for. Thankfully, there was Peppermint and Monét X Change holding it down on the red carpet.
In that sense, the red carpet was appropriately beige, not in color but in wow factor. No one looked offensive — and maybe that’s the problem. There was no Lil' Kim purple jumpsuit or Rose McGowan sheer dress or Lenny Kravitz metallic suit or Pamela Anderson pink furry hat. Nothing with spark. Nothing with verve. Nothing worth remembering next week, tomorrow or even later today. But rather than get mad, we simply move on.
Aubrey O’Day Gets the Last Laugh
You know who wasn’t at the VMAs? Former Danity Kane songstress turned Photoshop expert Aubrey O’Day, who was likely scaling a mountain on vacation... as she should. The latest drama began when a TikToker did a green screen video (never a good sign) calling out the incredibly known and easily discernible fact that O’Day, like many, alters her appearance and often the location of her photos on Instagram. Bizarre? Yes. Out of the ordinary? Not in the least. Still, the “gotcha” video picked up enough traction for O’Day to clap back, posting a heavily edited photo on IG (her signature!) with a lengthy caption that began by stating that she’d taken her private jet to the pearly gates of heaven where she and Jesus “hugged it out.”
“He told me to let the child on TikTok with SO much to say about my life... that you don’t need to concentrate on others to be your own version of special and necessary in this world.”
Then she wrote that she didn’t need to explain herself and followed that up with two paragraphs of explanation (queen), writing: “I’ve been in this industry for over 20 years and have been traveling the world since I was 7. If I want my Instagram to be curated like a museum of ART then that’s what the fuck is going to happen. I’m an artist, a REAL creator. I do all of my creative from my music to my flicks.. everything from my hair, glam, nails, styling, backdrops, editing, shooting, & the weather isn’t always perfect when I shoot, and I vacation alone.. I don’t need to be flown places. Let alone the fact that a lot of the shots I give y’all are in places you have to spend hours scaling mountains to get to. Respect my aesthetic, I work hard to give y’all beautiful content that feels the way the places I travel vibrate.. and i get nothing from sharing the beauty other than the joy of wanting y’all to vibrate high with me."
First of all, the lyricism is still in her. She needs to turn these ruminations into the next “Damaged.” Second of all, good on her. If O’Day wants us to believe she’s traveling the world, let her believe that we believe it. She’s not hurting anyone. In the toxic ecosystem that is celebrity worship, we need more former Celebrity Apprentice stars who are willing to poke fun at themselves. I say let the second most famous Aubrey feel her fantasy!
Jennifer Lopez’s Plantation Wedding Dresses Are Here
When Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck rolled into a Vegas chapel for what appeared to be a low-key, vibes only wedding, I thought, “Good for her.” I should have known the “Let’s Get Loud” singer wasn’t going to settle for a single wedding press cycle. Then came the Instagram post: "First peek at my wedding looks at OnTheJLo.com." I didn’t find my way to OnTheJLo.com, instead betting that the news would be aggregated.
And sure enough, hours later, headline: The bride wore custom Ralph Lauren Collection to walk down the aisle. The groom, meanwhile, also wore Ralph Lauren Couture, a white tuxedo jacket, black trousers and a black bow tie. All the kids were also in Ralph Lauren. All attendees wore white in a trend that I can only hope is short-lived.
It’s a wedding, like the VMAs, I won’t soon remember. But a wedding I won’t soon forget happened just week’s earlier. From the star of Jersey Girl to thee Jersey girl.
Teresa’s Wedding Hair Breaks the Bravo Internet
You might be thinking: Teresa Giudice’s wedding hair? That’s old news. And you’d be correct. But it’s also this week’s news. There’s the feeding and the digestive process. Earlier this month was the meal and now that we have adequately processed, it’s time for a very necessary post-mortem on how hundreds of defiant bobby pins helped make BCU (the Bravo Cinematic Universe) history.
It began with a phone call in November. Lucia Casazza picked up the phone to the sound of a familiar voice nearly 5,000 miles away. “Teresa immediately said, 'Start thinking of ideas for my hair. I have to have fabulous hair.'" Immediately Casazza, who has been doing Giudice’s makeup for the last 14 years, sprung into action. “For months I spent hours and days researching the greatest editorial hair on some of the greatest icons through the decades, picking apart all the fine details. I thought to myself, ‘This is one of my best friends and I have been creating looks for her hair for well over a decade, and this has to be my greatest achievement. I want to give her my all so that she can look back and see herself as one of the most beautiful bride‘s in history.'"
Though Teresa wasn’t sure if she’d want a crown for her second wedding, after wearing one when she married her first husband, Joe, she ultimately decided, “Why not?” The big question became, "What would support the crown?" According to Casazza, “She wanted some hair down, yet she wanted something different designed just for her that was elaborate and able to balance the weight and height of the crown.” And so arrived the hair, over $7,000 worth of custom luxury hair extensions. Then the bobby pins, over 1,500 of them. On wedding day, Casazza mounted herself on a chair and got to work. The result: pure magic.
“The hair was styled exquisitely,” says Clayton Hawkins, a celebrity stylist whose clientele includes Olivia Rodrigo. “It was giving Italian Gwen Shamblin, which is quite fitting since in the cult of Bravo, she is one of the leaders, a high priestess if you will. As one of the two remaining OGs in the housewives cinematic universe, her Priscilla Presley-inspired hair was perfection.”
Does Casazza have any response to those among the “if you don’t” in the “if you get it, you get it; if you don’t, you don’t continuum? “Look, it takes a strong woman to wear a crown of that weight. Being born and raised in Jersey — and I know Tre will agree with me 100% on this — it’s safe to say we’ll always be #JERSEYSTRONG. To all those with negative opinions, keep your comments to yourself because nobody likes bad vibes ever. And also, perhaps try a little volume to your hair. Just like my mama always taught me, the higher the hair, the closer to God."
'Abbott Elementary' Cast Schools Us All On How to Win a Red Carpet (And Some Awards)
It’s not everyday you see a cast that turns it out on a red carpet as exquisitely as the Abbott Elementary crew. For the Television Critics Association Awards, where the series picked up four major awards — Individual Achievement in Comedy for star/creator Quinta Brunson, Outstanding Comedy Series, Outstanding New Series and the much-coveted Program of the Year — the cast decided to let the room know they weren’t just television stars, but fashion stars, as well.
Series lead and creator Quinta Brunson wore a silver dress with a pink cape courtesy of Tony Ward’s Fall 2023 Couture collection, Janelle James opted for a red Alexander McQueen suit, Sheryl Lee Ralph chose a black Greta Constantine dress with green details on the neck and pockets, Lisa Ann Walter chose a green sequin Badgley Mischka suit. Rounding out the cast was Tyler James Williams in a Thrash Bespoke and Chris Perfetti, who has yet to respond to my DM inquiring about his duds. With the show mere weeks away from its Season 2 premiere, the countdown is now very much on.
Reality Wars: Bethenny vs. Kim K
And the most impractical packaging award goes to….#skkn #skknreview #skknbykim #skkncare #skkncareroutine #skincareroutine #skincareproducts #exfoliate #kimkardashianskincare #undereyecream #skincare #skincareproductreview #skincareregimen #beautyreview #beautyreviews #wetnwild #proactive #chantecaille #sisley
I’m not sure why, perhaps it’s the Ellen Degeneres connection or the Kyle Richards one or the belief that the uber-wealthy gave a blood oath to protect one another, but I always just assumed Bethenny Frankel was in with the Kardashians. Sure, Frankel attempted to cast some shade on Kim back in October 2020 with an Instagram post that intended to mock the Kardashian privilege but in actuality only highlighted her own. She is, after all, Bethenny Frankel. But Frankel had Kris Jenner on her short-lived talk show in 2012 and I found these snaps of Khloe Kardashian reading Bethenny Frankel’s book at a 2009 benefit. Where’s the loyalty?
Earlier this month, former Real Housewives of New York star and current TikTok personality Bethenny Frankel took to the app to give her unsolicited review of Kim’s recently launched SKKN by Kim. She decided to review the eye cream and the exfoliator, two categories she says she knows really. “Any line that tells you you need to do all of the steps is just doing a smash and grab job because your skin is different every day,” Frankel, whose background is in the culinary world, confidently tells her 13M+ followers.
She called the packaging “impractical at best,” “crazy” and “gigantic” before praising herself as a practical and organized person. “Is it worth the money they’re charging? Unlikely,” she surmises. She ultimately deemed it “good, quality skincare,” but noted, once again, how impractically packaged it was. In the next video, Frankel is seen putting a pesto and parmesan lathered loaf of ciabatta on a grill in a tone that would have you believing she just discovered the fountain of youth. She labeled the video “the most insane recipe” despite providing no recipe, only proving that she knows her way around the East Hampton Citarella.
It makes sense why Frankel would post a video about SKKN. Frankel, better than just about anyone, knows the starting drama begets attention. And it worked. The video got over 1.4M plays while a skincare review posted days later amassed only 35K views. Will her review impact sales of SKKN? Likely not. Safe to say Kim probably won’t be responding in lieu of showing off her Michèle Lamy-designed office.
Welcome to "Wear Me Out,"a column by pop culture fiend Evan Ross Katz that takes a deep dive into celebrity dressing. From award shows and movie premieres to grocery store runs, he'll keep you up to date on what your favorite celebs have recently worn to the biggest and most inconsequential events.
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