If you've never experienced the sheer, unadulterated joy of watching Lizzo "ho and flute" aka slay a banging flute solo while twerking, or blow an epigraph "to her last fuck," on the wind instrument, I'll say it, you've never lived. Observe:
On top of being a tour-de-force rapper and pop phenom, making the most radically inclusive girl power in the game, Lizzo is also a classically trained flutist and self-proclaimed band nerd.
The Minnesota-by-way-of-Houston artist played in marching bands from 8th grade until she graduated University of Houston, where she majored in classical flute performance and blew, as she once said, "the baddest piccolo in the land." She has since "snuck" the flute into all releases, from her 2013 debut Lizzobangers up to her most recent EP Coconut Oil, and frequently performs with the instrument live. She even started a #fluteandshootchallenge for her followers, now a well-populated Instagram tag.
However, it appears that some sad, bitter drum-line bros are not happy about Lizzo's audacity in disrupting their stereotypes of what classical flutists look like, and have been trolling her with claims that she's been faking her performances.
Today on Instagram, Lizzo, whomst we do not deserve, addressed such cretins in a "PSA for the weirdos that think I have the TIME to fabricate a flute back-story, RENT a flute to tour with and PRETEND to play. Bitch, I'm a full time artist. I been on this flute shit, read my old interviews ho! Enjoy this F natural."
She came for these tragic haters, as only Lizzo can. Cheerfully:
"Okay so I just saw there are people who are, you know, doubting that I'm a classically trained flutist, all these videos are fake, we got people doubtin' me. Back when I was an artist that had like 'Batches & Cookies' or whatever, they didn't give a shit what I was doing or what I was actually talented at. And I just really think that's really a sign that I'm finally poppin'!"
"I'mna celebrate by putting my flute together and actually blowing notes out of it, so you hoes can shut the fuck up. This is Sasha flute. This is an open-hole C flute, a Muramatsu, look at the B foot. Wow, she knows a lot about flutes! Guess she didn't study it in college."
"And now, I'm gonna play my favorite note in the entire scale, F. FUCK Y'ALL."
Lizzo is happy to count these cynics as a notch in her success bedpost, but their existence is the perfect example of how she is bulldozing every expectation and barrier on her path to world domination.
Photo via Getty
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