Grammys Weekend in Los Angeles: A Frantic Diary

The glitz, the glamour, the schadenfreude of being in Southern California for music’s biggest night while New York City has turned into the seventh circle of a frozen hell.

Yes, Grammy weekend arrived in Los Angeles, which is a time for the music industry to come together and get the important work done of handing out golden trophies to a diverse group of both millionaires and famous people alike. In reality, I’d come to find out that many of the winning artists would use their speech to spread worthy messages. But in order to get there, I had to go through the Grammy weekend gauntlet first.

Who won, who lost, and how much money did I spend on Ubers? Let’s just say surge pricing wasn’t my only obstacle.

Thursday, January 29

Thursday, 4:27pm

I check into my room at the Moxy Downtown Los Angeles, which becomes a de-facto Grammy headquarters for out-of-towners every year considering it's directly across the street from the Crypto.com Arena, where the show takes place on Sunday. (Or as Trevor Noah would later crack: “The only arena that loses value during a commercial break.”) My room literally overlooks the building, and nearby I have access to the restaurant complex LA Live. Traffic can’t come for me now! I grab some chicken salad and get ready for my night.

8:38pm

Psyche! I'm in an Uber fighting LA traffic on my way to Spotify’s Best New Artist Party. Known to be one of the more legendary bashes of the weekend, the streaming service’s Grammy event is an annual hot ticket because it’s the only one where all of the nominees perform. Most parties you go to stream music, but the streaming service’s party has live music. Can you hear the irony? This year’s event is at a place called The Lot in West Hollywood, which should show you how much Los Angelenos are obsessed with parking: even their party spaces are named after places to keep their cars.

9:20pm

I hop out of my Uber and head to check-in where guests are granted coveted access right up until me: something about being over being capacity. Before long, I’m given a wristband and head inside where I see an array of familiar faces as many guests are artists themselves. Suffice to say: whether you’re up and coming or already popular, it’s smart to show Spotify some love. Last year’s Best New Artist nominee (and semi-professional flipper) Benson Boone is to my left, bro-ing out with Alex Warren. Meanwhile, Sombr, before his own performance, is singing and dancing along to Addison Rae (they co-starred together in his video for “12 to 12”.) The boys from the band Wallows, Dylan Minette and Cole Preston, are by the bar each holding two drinks each; Preston is very tan and is wearing a thick leather jacket.

I run into the actor and new author Lukas Gage, who tells me, “All these parties are somehow both overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time.” The people watching here is exceptional: random guests include Ty Dolla $ign and Dixie D’Amelio, as well as a Property Brother (I’m not exactly sure which one) and an artist named HorsegiirL, who wears prosthetics to make her face look like a horse. No seriously, Google her. Or, maybe don’t. There’s also the actor Drew Tarver, otherwise known as Carey Dubek on The Other Two. Art imitating life, anybody?

10:45pm

Like in year’s past, the party is more of a festival or concert atmosphere with a rotating stage. In fact, it’s better than most concerts: the tickets were free and there’s an open bar. Olivia Dean performs last, an obvious crowd favorite which makes sense since she (spoiler alert) would later win Best New Artist.

Friday, January 30

1:39pm

I slam some cold brew and a smoothie and find myself before noon at the Beverly Hilton. From being at a party where the guests are HorsegiirL and a Property Brother (it actually may have been Jonathan, now that I think of it), some Grammy events this weekend are exceedingly swank. Take for example an annual luncheon for Entertainment Lawyers at Beverly Wilshire in equally swank Beverly Hills. Why was I here? Well, would you turn down an incredible three-course lunch? Think of Grammy weekend like a convention for the music industry with all sorts of different events. Some days you’re running into HorsegiirL, and others you’re hobnobing with a bunch of lawyers.

7:38pm

Every LA weekend needs a power dinner, because you can’t just subsist on pass-around bites. Since I was in Beverly Hills, I went to La Dolce Vita. It’s a local classic, and a favorite of Frank Sinatra’s (who, fun fact, served as the Grammy’s first-ever host); I’m told the singer used to own the building. I sit down and do the very Los Angeles thing of looking at who’s there, but the restaurant is very dim. I look down and there’s cheetah-print carpeting, which matches nicely with the cheetah doorhandle (technically, you grab its tail.) Fueling up, I order platters of clams oreganata and spaghetti and incredible meatballs, and a sweet and sour chicken marsala.

10:07pm

I’m heading out of La Dolce and gaze at an abstract painting. Looking closer, it was signed by the artist: Sinatra himself. I wonder: what would he think of HorsegiirL?

Saturday, January 31

10:30am

Back at the Moxy, the lobby is full of tired revelers waiting for coffee. Some attended the MusiCares tribute to Mariah Carey last night, which featured artists like Kesha and Charlie Puth covering Carey’s hits. I’m slamming a coffee because I have a long day ahead of me, as I’m attending what some would say is the best ticket of Grammy weekend. Don’t be jealous, I’ll take you all in a second.

5:03pm

I’m in yet another Uber and I have a deep conversation with my driver about life, man. He’s about to pay off his house. Since I pay my rent in Brooklyn with most of my income, I nod as if I comprehend the idea of owning anything.

7pm

The Pre-Grammy Gala hosted by Clive Davis, which features performances from the stars of today (Sombr, the girls from KPop Demon Hunters) and yesterday (Art Garfunkel) has been a tradition for 51 years and hosts a who’s who of superstars as guests as the 93 year-old Davis shouts out from the stage. The cocktail hour here at the Beverly Hilton is just as starry, and I say hello to Jeff Goldblum. “Oh, helloo, hi” he says back in his most Goldblum-y voice.

People who don’t go to parties go to this party, like the enigmatic musicmaker Max Martin. Elsewhere, Paris Hilton navigated the crowd (one year I spotted her taking a selfie in a mirror, which was like seeing Da Vinci paint the Mona Lisa), along with the likes of Lana Del Rey, Damiano David and Dove Cameron, Heidi Klum, Shaboozey, and Martha Stewart, too. There were also the o’s (Lizzo and Dilpo), as well as Noah Kahan and Halle Bailey: a very partial list.

8:02pm

Dinner is served. It’s chicken and rice. What did you expect? Chet Hanks walks by.

9:39pm

Everyone is on their feet for regular Grammy favorite Olivia Dean when Rachel I Love LA Sennott saunters past me to get to her table by the stage. With her status as Ms. LA, I had to introduce myself and take a picture. I have been anointed! Thank you, Rachel.

11:02

I’m waiting for my Uber amid a crush of celebrities waiting for the valet including Seth MacFarlane and Succession’s Brian Cox, who Seth MacFarlane gets a picture with. Or was it the other way around?

Sunday, February 1

10:38am

I’m piling waffles and eggs on my plate at the Moxy’s expansive breakfast buffet on their top floor, as a motley crew of people in sweatpants and formal wear which makes up both the morning crowd and future Grammy guests who have to walk across the street in due time for the actual ceremony. It looks fun to eat waffles in a tux.

1:02pm

Before the Grammys kick off, what’s called the Premiere Ceremony occurs in the same place as the main show where they hand out the unimportant awards beforehand, like for the writers and musicians. Who would ever want to be a writer? This year, Darren Criss acted as host, with performances by the likes of Zara Larsson.

1:39pm

I’m in the bathroom, and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I remember my profession. A single tear drips down my face.

4:20pm

The red carpet for the main show is now in full swing, and people are showing each other what Chappel Roan wore. It’s worth a look, if you haven't seen it already.

4:30pm

Everything in the arena is Grammy branded. Including a GRAMMY sign to where the restrooms are, as well as GRAMMY Black Garlic Fries. There’s a line to GRAMMY branded step-and-repeat photo area that is longer than a COVID testing site circa 2020.

5pm

I grab my seat and Bruno Mars opens the show (and yes, it starts at 5 on the West Coast.) If you’re wondering what it’s like to be in the audience at the Grammys and think everybody must be excited to be there, some are actually unphased. Two of my seatmates were on their phone for most of the time: shopping, looking at TikTok, checking their messages, peeping Instagram, checking their messages again just in case they missed a message the first time. Despite being up in the rafters, some people are completely decked out as if they’re Beyonce making a red carpet appearance. The guy next to me, who said he works in social media, had dark sunglasses on for the majority of the time. I’m still not sure if he was able to see anything.

6:38pm

At most concerts, everybody there is a fan. But here, with so many artists, they’ll be pockets of fandom. When KATSEYE came out to perform “Gnarly,” there was a token gay or girl in every section who screamed as if their lives depended on it. Let them receive medals of valor for their work in their fan armies.

7:20pm

I’m not sure how it looked on TV, but Tyler, the Creator’s performance which involved a speeding car and exploding house, was wildly impressive to see live on stage.

8:33pm

“And the winner is… Luther Vandross!” Cher is not just a national treasure, she’s a gift from God.

9:30pm

Time for another Uber; this one is going to Hollywood where Universal Music Group is hosting an after party. They're the company behind Republic Records, of many, who counts artists like Taylor Swift and Post Malone as clients. Inside, the buildout is meant to mimic a desert: projections of mountain visas are seen on the wall, while huge cactus stand by and cotton ball clouds float above our head.

10:20pm

While I know this isn’t for Bon Appetit, the food here was absolutely incredible with tables of pizza, cookies, pass-around plates of mac-and-cheese-grilled-cheese, and a huge vegan spread with ‘chicken’ sandwiches and zucchini fries. There was even a barista. “Diet starts tomorrow,” I chuckle to myself.

10:39pm

I continue to explore the desert, with guests here including the likes of Suki Waterhouse, Paris Jackson, Shania Twain and, yes, Martha Stewart.

1:01am

Back at the Moxy, it’s time to draw another Grammy weekend to a close. As I lay myself down to sleep I have visions of… HorsegiirL?! No, I need to get her out of my mind. Instead, I’ll dream of Bad Bunny, Luther Vandross, Rachel Sennott and the cookies from the Universal party. Until next year..

Images provided by Rob LeDonne