Maybe the Euphoria Season 3 Premiere Was Bad, But… - PAPER Magazine

Let’s all calm down a bit.

First of all, the third installation of Sam Levinson’s semi-scorned opus was never going to be excellent. There’s no surprise there. The losses of key cast members are juxtaposed by an apparent decline in the artistic proclivities of Levinson, its creator/writer/director, as exemplified by his other, less than optimal, artistic offerings during Euphoria’s rollout. (We’re looking at you, The Idol.)

Together, these serve as major external factors contributing to the sparkly show’s supposed demise.

The cast that’s stuck around has clearly lost interest, with Zendaya going so far as to speculate against the show’s renewal when she appeared on Drew Barrymore last week. Great promotion! In a dissy TikTok posted by Hunter Schafer’s stylist, Dara Allen, she divulged that Schafer’s premiere look was a completely last-minute decision, with no long-term planning involved. Labrinth, the lead composer for Euphoria’s first two seasons, pulled his scoring from its third, and not without messy digs at Levinson.

But as of last night, Euphoria season 3 took its first steps out from a conspiracy-filled promo cycle. “Ándale,” the first episode, premiered on HBO. The plot picks up five years post-high school, opening on protagonist Rue Bennett (Zendaya) crossing the Mexico/US border in a beat-up trap car. She ditches the plateless cruiser in the desert. Turns out, she still owes that creepy old lady money, and is working as a drug mule alongside Faye (Chloe Cherry) to pay back her debt.

Here’s where things get gross: Rue and Faye are guzzling fentanyl-filled balloons, crossing borders, then shitting them out. Just nasty. It’s almost as bad as what Cassie (Sydney Sweeney) is up to. She’s dressed as a dog for TikTok, forcing her and her hubby Nate Jacobs’ (Jacob Elordi) innocent housekeeper to clock in as her social media videographer. In one of many fights between Cassie and Nate about her career, it’s revealed that she has yet to strike a brand deal with the bad bodysuit brand she’s using for her puppy cosplay. Now she’s gross and desperate!

The episode ends with our girl Rue making a new friend, a strip club mogul named Alamo, who might also be a pimp? And shoots an apple off Rue’s head? With a pistol? And Rue was responsible for the death of one of his strippers with the fentanyl that was recently in a balloon in her intestine? Very Sam Levinson.

One episode in, and Euphoria’s series-long theme is immediately apparent: Fumbling your cosmic, sapphic relationship with a gorgeous transsexual will leave you in squalor. Speaking of, the episode’s biggest failure was its complete lack of screentime for Hunter Schafer as Jules.

There are some diamonds in Levinson’s rough, however. Zendaya’s acting is strong as ever. She’s won two Emmy Awards as Rue Bennett, and throughout the premiere, we’re constantly reminded why. From facial expressions that harken back to Bennett’s complex mental health diagnoses and neurodivergence, to a truly manic cackle delivered in the wake of Alamo’s gunshot at her, Zendaya is clearly committed as ever.

And the writing isn’t all bad; the all-new, LA backdrop for Euphoria’s shenanigans is promising (and feels particularly) relevant. Maude Apatow’s character, Lexi, is exactly where her tryhard high school self would be: lecturing Rue about her future all the while carrying stacks of Starbucks to the soap opera director she PAs for, one who she’s just barely earned the respect of. Lexi is theatre-kid-maxxing and it’s entirely true-to-form. Alexa Demie is back as Maddie, who’s become a talent agent with a client starring on that same soap.

While Lexi and Maddie are working on the fringes of the entertainment industry, Nate is in real estate (why wouldn’t he be) and Jules is, apparently, a sugar baby. But again, where the hell was that gorgeous face on my screen?

As was the case back in 2019, when the show began, the individuals that make up Euphoria’s now notorious ensemble are not so different from one another. They all want success and peace along their journeys to it. They’re just also all a bit unhinged, which makes that peace impossible to grasp onto. Cassie put it perfectly, when plotting the inception of her OnlyFans: “People just want to feel special.”

Image via Getty

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