Dear Sofia Coppola, Please Release Your Daughter From Jail

The future TikTok star announced from teen prison this week that she'd been grounded for using her parent's credit card to charter a helicopter to Maryland so she can "have dinner with a camp friend." In lieu of a helicopter ride for Denny's in a Maryland truck stop, she instead filmed herself cooking.

“Make a vodka-sauce pasta with me because I’m grounded." Literally! That helicopter is never going to take off.

The video has since been deleted but as you can see above, she begins with the revelation that she can charter a helicopter but can't tell the difference between an onion or garlic. After googling images of the two, she picks up a shallot. “Also, I thought I would do this since I’m already grounded since my parents’ biggest rule is, like, I’m not allowed to have any public social media accounts."

Why, one might ask, do Sofia Coppola and her dad, musician Thomas Mars, not want the 16-year-old on social media? After holding up a Grammy to the camera and posing with it like a makeup guru and some eyeshadow, she elaborates that "They don't want me to be a nepotism kid but TikTok is not gonna make me famous so...it doesn't really matter."

How quaint to be reminded that to the child of Sofia Coppola, TikTok stars are how famous, exactly? Release this kid from teen jail immediately!

She also introduced viewers to her babysitter's boyfriend and a dog, because "my parents are never home so these are my replacement parents." She then makes the boyfriend shop for the ingredients to vodka sauce — because it's Women's History Month — and promises a part two "where I actually make the pasta!"

Something tells me we're never going to see that pasta or have it explained how a 16-year-old can charter a helicopter.

Photo via Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty