While he might not be in line for the throne anymore, Prince Harry seems to be well on his way to being crowned the Prince of Oversharing with everything we've come learn from his new memoir, Spare.
Having accidentally hit shelves in Spain a week earlier than anticipated, there's already been plenty of leaked details from the book floating around ranging from allegations that he got into a physical altercation with brother William to an account of losing his virginity to an older woman behind a pub. Among other interesting anecdotes include him admitting that he used to study Markle's sex scenes in Suits and once did shrooms at Courtney Cox's house. But perhaps it was Harry's trials and tribulations with penile frostbite that seemed to take the cake as the most TMI tidbit from the book.
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However, what's perhaps more distressing than the idea of the Harry's frozen South Pole is the amount of detail he appears to go into. According to the newly released memoir, the prince ended up getting frostnip — a slightly milder form of frostbite that doesn't result in permanent skin damage — during a 2011 charity expedition to the Arctic. The frostnip was caused by a mix of sweat freezing on his ears and fingers as well as a lack of sufficient layers, but it wouldn't be until weeks later that he would discover it had spread to his nether regions as well.
The timing proved to be terrible as Harry tried to hide the "slow, deteriorating situation" in his trousers from the British public during William and Kate's wedding. Describing his penis as being "borderline traumatized," Harry recounts that a friend recommended he put the same face cream his mother used to put on her lips on his "todger," triggering an almost Oedipal flashback once he opened the tube.
Fortunately, Harry would go on consult a doctor and learn that his schlong would eventually thaw out if he was patient, but the topic of keeping his willy warm would eventually come up again while planning a trip to Antartica for his 29th birthday. Hoping to not have history repeat itself, Harry commissioned a custom cock cushion to better protect his privates from the frigid temps. Through a close friend, Harry tasked a seamstress that worked at Helly Hansen to craft the penis pillow, describing it as “square" and "supportive." The luxurious item was "sewn from pieces of the softest fleece." We'd expect nothing more for a royal member.
Naturally, with so much attention on his penis (which he did confirm "was snipped as a baby"), Harry had to find a few creative ways to talk about his injured anatomy. In an appearance on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, Harry revealed that he actually had to provide a list of alternatives to be used in the book, which included but were not limited to “my man piece, my johnson, my wilson, my todger, my willy.”
Frankly, if this was the last we ever heard of Harry's todger, it would still be too soon.
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