The Curious Case of Drake's Abs

In a recent Instagram post documenting life at one of his various hideouts around the world, Drake offered a sneak peek at his alcohol stash and new body. The message he accompanied this reveal was simple, if unnerving: “I’m wide awake for the nights that separate the type who get to it til they get it right from the type who just …type.”

See the photo evidence below:

Accompanying photos and videos in the carousel included his new cowboy boots and an ATV in the pouring rain. There’s also a zoomed-in ass shot of Drake as he takes that rumored BBL for a jog, if anyone’s into that sort of thing.

On the topic of those abs, the aforementioned “type who just …type” immediately descended on the post to point them out. One user wrote that Drake “Ordered abs from temu n forgot to add shoulders n tri lol.” Another simply said: “No shoulders, no biceps, deflated chest but extremely defined abs lmao.”

As the Daily Mail pointed out, Drake likely had ab etching and high definition lipo. These claims are further backed up, according to the rag, by “Surgery blogger @SurgeonMade_Curves," which is a string of words I blissfully did not have to type out myself. Elsewhere, “popular plastic surgery themed Instagram account @IGFamousByDana” said the following: “I second every single thing @surgeonmade_curves said in her post about Drake’s fresh (and not even fully healed) latest round of lipo etched abs.”

Ultimately, it matters very little if the abs are real or not, because Drake will only show them again the next time he has a feud to glaze over or a sports gambling ad he’s probably been paid millions to post. More than anything, I find it deliciously ironic that male rappers now suffer at the hands of a media ecosystem they contributed to; it’s the same media ecosystem which hyper fixates on women’s appearances, and now men’s too, judging by the current press. Gender equality has always been a dream of mine — Drake too, really.

Photos via Getty Images