It’s Saturday night in Queens. The world is on fire, but I’m standing in a sea of glitter, fuchsia, and crimson, surrounded by music fans at the first night of Chappell Roan’s sold-out four-night Forest Hills stadium stand. "It's been quite a year, and I can't believe we're here," Roan beams back at the eyes looking towards her. “I can’t believe we’re here, honestly. It’s crazy. Thank you for sticking with me through it. I know it was … it’s been really hard.”
And it has been hard. It just takes a quick scan at the crowd to see that it’s makeup, from queer couples to people of color and humans in general with a sense of morality and empathy, have all gotten the short end of the stick this year, to put it more than lightly.
Roan is clearly reflecting on her own personal journey — from having to cancel her scheduled appearance at Forest Hills last year for All Things Go festival, to delivering a history-making set at Governors Ball 2024 dressed as the Statue of Liberty, a few months earlier, not to mention a much smaller show the year before at Brooklyn Steel. Chappell's journey through New York City stages mirrors her rapid and well-earned rise to fame — a spotlight she has both embraced and, at times, tried to escape.
But tonight, with an intricate castle as her backdrop, a crown of red curly locks, and a fit that can only be described as “modern-day-medieval-queen in a bodysuit,” — she leans right into the blaring glow. “I’m so glad I can come to work like this,” she smiles. “I just needed a place like this so bad when I was 13, 14. I just wanted to dress up however I wanted, and I wanted to wear makeup and look weird.” Judging by the cheers, we all did too.
I can’t decide what my favorite part of Chappell’s set was. Losing my voice during “My Kink Is Karma” as if singing it on full blast during an eclipse would work as some sort of return to sender ritual (my apologies if it did). Watching wee children on their parents' shoulders singing every word to “Femininomenon.” Her sensational cover of Heart’s “Barracuda” (last night she brought out Nancy Wilson to give the song even more justice). Or, running away midway through “Pink Pony Club,” singing in the hallowed exits of Forest Hills Stadium while trying to get an early Uber home (spoiler: I didn’t.)
But I think the best moments were the ones that made me cry, and I don’t just mean that part in “Subway” where Chappell hits us with the full breadth of her vocal range, I get excited about all the things I’ve successfully gotten away from. It was the point in the set that Roan, after acknowledging the craziness of the year, dropped the word “cherished” — even listening to it now again, from the audio I recorded during the show — is an immediate comforting and sore hit at the heart.
"I hope that you know you’re welcome here," Roan shares after acknowledging the dream fulfillment of that moment on stage for her. "However you show up today. You are cherished. You are cherished.” To hold something dearly with care and devotion. To protect someone lovingly. It’s an honor to watch someone treat their music and career that way — and even more of an honor, especially now — to hear her throw that same care our way.
Speaking of, if you (like me) want to “support trans youth and uplift LGBTQ+ communities, assist those affected by the ICE raids, and support other displaced or marginalized communities,” you can do so at this link, provided by Catalyst Philanthropy Fund as part of Chappell’s "Visions of Damsels & Other Dangerous Things" tour, here: https://givebutter.com/chappellroan.
Photography: Ragan Henderson
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