So Chic, Very Chic: Real Divorcees of Beverly Hills
BY
Joan Summers | Nov 21, 2024
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finds itself in a fraught situation, besieged at all sides by the shifting winds of public opinion and Bravo’s rising court fees.
Current and former cast members are posting about the scourge of “woke.” Star Kyle Richards has made what seems to be a 10th public statement about her being straight-adjacent, while the TikTok generation is making compilations of her evil sister Kathy Hilton being generally evil — to staff, to her children, to Kyle. Garcelle Beauvais is busy in Atlanta having six other jobs, Sutton Stracke is crying about something or other and Mauricio Umansky is cycling between IDF propaganda and mid-life divorce cringe on Instagram. (He has that in common with Dorit Kemsley.)
Enter the season premiere, which had a lot to live up to, with Dorit and Kyle’s divorces overtaking headlines earlier this year. Their feud has continued from the reunion, with both sides intractable in their belief they are uniquely wronged. Glamorous scream queen Jennifer Tilly is here as a friend of, alongside new Housewife Bozoma Saint John, with a patchwork career of glitzy marketing jobs and a second life as a late-era Real Housewives star, continuing the trend, I suppose.
With a haphazard cast dynamic and the contentious public relations nightmare surrounding them, the “hook” this season appears to be a destined takedown of Kyle, the ruling queen bee of the franchise for at least 10 years. (Despite Lisa Vanderpump’s protestations.) A better hook than in recent years, but not quite strong enough to overlook the lack of interesting fashions or real relationships. Still, this is a show staffed almost exclusively by actors and charlatans. It’s better than nothing!
Shall we look at the clothes?
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Kathy Hilton
Identifying cinematic parallels on The Real Housewives is sort of my special interest, and I’d like to point out that Kathy appears to be in a shot-for-shot remake of Baron Harkonnen’s near-death medical scenes from Dune: Part 2. (Funny, considering Dorit Kemsley looked like Lady Jessica at the reunion.)
There’s just something so unsettling about this woman, wired up to her injections, freshly nipped and tucked, drinking a chocolate smoothie at noon. At the “surrealism” ball Sutton hosted, Kathy showed up and immediately took her extensions out and threw them on the floor. Classy! This is why rich people don’t want us upstairs in their homes.
Sutton Stracke
I couldn’t identify this dress immediately, but something tells me it’s Dolce & Gabbana. Wonder why! I don’t hate it. No, seriously, I don’t hate it. Perhaps I’m apathetic to the stylistic ethos she holds fast to: country club wife with an unsteady access to couture. Not the worst way to live, if her millions a year in spousal support has anything to say about it. But it has moderately clouded her sensibilities, surrounded as she is by gay attendants and Real Housewives fans who fawn over her for a living. She’s put together, certainly, but at what cost? That’s the question I’m most concerned with these days: at what cost?
At Sutton’s “surrealism” ball, the most common motif were antlers. This brought up numerous questions from the likes of Kyle, who also wore antlers, alongside Dorit and Boz. A quick Google search reveals Dali’s “The Deer.” Likewise, the Rothschilds’ infamous Surrealism Ball from 1972, lorded over by Dali himself, featured prominent antler accessories, famously worn by Marie Helene de Rothschild herself. Google it! The images of her in French couture, adorned with the literal head of a stag, will probably haunt you too. I’m not really mad at her gown until I see the belt, and then I’m actually mad — a perfect way to make very expensive clothes look like you purchased them at the Halloween store. The only balm here is Jennifer’s faux-Bjork swan costume. I expect big things from her!
Erika Jayne
I didn’t know they rebooted Jem and the Holograms in the My Little Pony cinematic universe! Seriously, she looks like the post-transformation of an empowering female character in a spin-off He-Man cartoon. It’s like I can’t look away, but not in adoration, and certainly not in awe. Instead, it's like I’ve witnessed something truly horrible, something that I’ll shiver in bed about tonight, something my grandkid’s will whisper is the reason I’m so weird whenever the weather gets cold and the nights get dark. Kudos, Erika! You’ve finally done something memorable post-millionaire.
As for the surrealism ball, Erika showed up in ready-to-wear. My roommate and I thought that, perhaps, she’d had her poor stylists source this from Santi Alley. But no! This walked a catwalk somewhere and cost more than I make in a month. Funny, really, that all these years later, she’s never met a catsuit she doesn’t plan to look silly in. Also, when did straight women start styling their hair like drag queens on the international Drag Race franchises?
Garcelle contains multitudes: multiple jobs, multiple concurrent beefs, multiple ongoing home renovations. She also has good fashion outings and very bad ones! It’s something I find rather endearing about her, gussied up as she is in her sparkly little Alex Perry dress. Kudos, mama! I think you look downright fabulous. I like to meet these women where they are, considering my taste is not universal, regional or even as broad as the little street in Philly I live on. In the realm of things she’s worn on television, this is among the best. It has everything! A sequined boob shelf, big hair and a beat face.
The surrealism ball fit, however, failed to deliver. It’s certainly ... surreal. If there’s anything that could be said about it, I think it’s that.
Dorit Kemsley
IDF Barbie made a big showing in the premiere, pulling out an arsenal (not provided for by the US military budget or American taxpayers, to be clear) of weapons to point directly at Kyle Richards. She smoked on camera, talked about her soon-to-be ex-husband’s alcoholism and wore a big disc on her head. Most importantly, however, is the glam filter they put over her Jean Paul Gaultier outfit in the first confessional of the season.
Bozoma Saint John
Bozoma made a splashy entrance this season, popping up in very sparkly clothes, with big hair and a big personality. I like her overall vibe, although it’s funny she immediately linked herself to Dorit. Bet on a losing horse, I guess! Variety is the spice of life.
As for the clothes, they’re not entirely novel but welcome nonetheless. I appreciate the presentation, generally, and think it’s a smart move to come out with a strong brand and incendiary opinions about Sutton. The hair here is the best bit, as is the star tattoo between her breasts. It’s not often we see visible tattoos on these shows! It matches her earrings.
The dress for the surrealism ball was, expectedly, not surreal, but it was beautifully fitted. She had it flown in for the occasion, and needed an assistant to help carry it inside. Wow! I hope she continues needing the help as her dresses grow progressively larger each gala. Eventually, they might even dwarf Rihanna.
Kyle Richards
Kyle wore an ill-fitting blazer with visible breasts and body jewelry? Novel. At least her hair extensions look good. As far as Kyle’s confessionals go, this is far from her best, and not so far from. It’s dated and a bit sad. She’s plucked from time, to a period of the past when Real Housewives thought a sensible blazer and button up was appropriate confessional attire, back before glam teams ruined everything. Still, if this is a reminder of the past, then thank god for the glam teams.
As for her surrealist look, she gussied up the antlers with a touch of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Beyond the eyebrows and the fairy queen aesthetic, she’s never looked more beautiful. The face is mugged the fuck down, and while her sadness radiates beyond those plumped up lips and cut crease, the beauty shines all the brighter for it.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
Angie Katsanevas
I’ve skipped over the other franchises this week, considering the premiere, but I felt it necessary to point out that Angie’s husband’s favorite position is “from behind.” Me too, girl. Me too.
Photos courtesy of Bravo/NBCUniversal
