2024: A Year in Internet Hell

2024: A Year in Internet Hell

By Tobias Hess and Ivan GuzmanDec 27, 2024

This time last year, we were doing the same thing: recapping the ‘wildest internet stunts’ of 2023. Colleen Ballinger’s infamous ukulele apology, the senate twink, Pinky Doll and mysterious alien sightings were top of mind. But since then, things have gone gung-ho.

Our year of 2024 bolstered our wackiest and most unimaginable thoughts and anxieties, and put them at the forefront of our screens. An assassination attempt turned into Brat summer, which then turned into neverending-election-cycle fall. And just when it felt like the coast was clear, drones and orbs flooded the skies of New York and New Jersey, hovering over our very own PAPER headquarters and putting our alien-ification from last year to shame. Add in Bethenny Frankel being the premiere "DroneTok" correspondent, and it’s a Holiday season that feels more dystopian than ever.

Without a doubt, we’ve entered Internet Hell. And though it may feel like a good idea to log off, we also know that we probably won’t be doing that anytime soon. Below, we recap some of the most hellish and significant moments from the World Wide Web of 2024.

AI Everything

AI isn't just cooking the planet, it’s cooking our brains. Since the rise of ChatGPT and supposedly, “magic-like” AI image generation software, everyone from amateur artists to productivity-minded entrepreneurs have tapped the trendy tech to make their wildest dreams come true. Call us self-serving writers or pretentious, but ChatGPT writing still feels undeniably stilted and yes, robotic... and the supposedly powerful image software is still either creepy or floppish. Sorry tech bros: we can't be convinced this 3D turtle with a wig is Michael Jackson or this Smile demon is Queen Bey. Plus, the ubiquity of AI bots on X and the use of AI images in everything, made us despair that we’re cratering towards an iRobot reality.

Hawk Tuah

Okay, we’ll be brave: We're Hailey Welch apologists. She seems nice and funny, and we even half-ironically awaited for her “Pookie Reveal” with baited breath. Plus, we thought the internet trend where everyone was pretending it was funny to have her explain high-minded concepts like Maoism or media theory was misogynistic and elitist. But that being said, Miss Welch was undoubtedly the horse woman to this year’s apocalypse: We should have known the country was going to vote bright, ruby red when she was suddenly, inexplicably the most famous woman in America for making a blow job joke well crafted for the Broleteraiat. At least she may be the one to finally sink the crypto industry. The tea!

The Willy Wonka Glasgow Experience

It feels like a lifetime ago, but Glasgow’s supposed immersive Willy Wonka experience happened this year. The experience, which happened in a barren grey warehouse and comprised little more than a few actors in inexplicable Oompa Loompa drag, left “kids in tears” and was compared to a “meth lab.” In the words of Chalamet’s Wonka, “There’s chocolate and then there’s chocolate.” But this just looked like pure shit and was maybe the portal that brought us into this low-key evil year?

Lohanthony Returns Like The Rapture... Literally

@star____333

this is not a drill ‼️ Lohanthony returned to YouTube and he still listens to Lana‼️ There is still hope ‼️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ #Lohanthony

“Lohanthony would’ve loved Brat,” says a comment from the creator’s recent YouTube Live. It reads as if the 25-year-old has passed away, but he’s very much still with us. We all know that in 2020 Lohanthony converted to Christianity and joined the military, denouncing his homosexuality in the process. But within the past month, he’s returned to his YouTube channel and in a much less tabloid-y style. In the live stream, the internet icon seemed peaceful and serene, still preaching the word of Christ but this go-around presenting as more open and reminiscent of the past. He uploaded an original freestyle about Jesus. He talked about how he still listens to Lana Del Rey. Yet, there was something chilling about his comeback to YouTube — an early 2010s Obama-era internet icon lost and a sign that things will never be as they were during the Tumblr days. Hopeful comments under his new videos say things like, “HE’S STILL IN THERE YALL,” signaling some sort of nostalgia for the king of ‘"basic bitches"to return to form. But when Anthony expands on which specific Lana songs he still bumps, he has a clear favorite: “How to disappear.”

The Lookalike Of It All

@luneskye

#unitedhealthcare #contest #lookalike #newyork

This was the year of the lookalike competition. There was a beauty to them at first, especially that initial Timothée one — advertised using paper flyers and held in town squares, it seemed like a magical movie moment. When Timothée himself showed up, the energy was palpable. But after some janky Jeremy Allen White and Zendaya ones, and a notable Luigi Mangione event pre-identity reveal (just guys in grey jackets), it kind of lost its spark. What was originally a fun little pop-up thing to soothe our collective election anxiety turned into a bandwagon trend with zero novelty whatsoever. Hoping this one fades away next year.

Praise the Press Junket Interviewer

2024 was also a year where it seemed like press tours were inescapable, specifically the Ariana and Cynthia Wicked one, in which all of our TikTok feeds were flooded with the two gushing over each other and crying over nothing. The story itself became about the absurdity of their press tour, but when Out journalist Tracy Gilchrist stopped the world by "holding space" for “Defying Gravity,” she became the star. That green velvet coat of hers became famous, and now Gilchrist is doing ads for Amazon Echo. This one we're not too mad about, because we too, are in queer media. A kooky middle-aged lesbian interviewer being praised for her questions was inspiring and even begs the question: are we all in "queer media"?

Photos via TikTok/YouTube/Instagram