As more details are revealed about the contents of Paris Hilton's tell-all book Paris: The Memoir, the socialite has formally addressed some past remarks that have stirred controversy.
The book, which was released last week, includes a short reflection on her past usage of slurs, which she partially blames on the PTSD she suffered at Provo Canyon School, a psychiatric youth in-patient treatment center that she was sent to at a young age. Hilton alleges that she was sexually abused, groomed and violated during her time there.
"The N-word. The C-word. The F-word. (Not that F-word, the worse one.) I look back on some of the things I said in the years after I left Provo, in the throes of PTSD, and I'm mortified," Hilton writes. ""I'm grossed out, because that means those creepy people got inside my head. I never really left them behind."
While Hilton acknowledges where she believes the language stemmed from, which she also partially chalks up to her drinking, she is quick to say it is not "an excuse" for saying it. "Sometimes I was just wasted and being a f---ing moron," Hilton explained. "I don't remember half the stuff people say I said when I was being a blacked-out idiot, but I'm not denying it because coming out of the CDEU system, I had a severely damaged filter – except when I was buzzed and had no filter at all."
Due to the trauma she faced, Hilton said she "said the worst things to and about the people I love the most."
As for the book release, reviews have so far been mixed. Many have praised her vulnerability and tenderness of her story (which was written with the assistance of a ghostwriter), while other critics felt that she could have explained why she hid behind an image that promoted body image issues and the "mean girl" trope.
Regardless, Hilton is enjoying the fruits of her labor, and her book is currently #1 in Amazon's Women's Personal Spiritual Growth category. She took to Instagram to celebrate the release and acknowledge the difficulty of recalling such traumatic events.
"While it was honestly so hard to write this book and then relive everything again by speaking every word out loud for my audiobook, I'm glad I did it," Hilton wrote in the caption. "I hope hearing my story, in my own words, and straight from me encourages you all to tell your stories and embrace your highs and lows and your true selves."
You can purchase Paris: The Memoirhere.
Photo courtesy of Jojo Korsh/BFA