It's easy to forget that we're already halfway through spooky season. Halloween is just weeks away, and so much still feels up in the air about what a COVID-conscious version of the holiday might look like. Is it even safe for kids to go trick-or-treating? Parties are certainly still out of the question, but does that mean we should dress up for Zoom calls instead? And scary movies just haven't been hitting that hard lately, given that most jump scares pale in comparison to the never-ending horror show that real life has become.
Luckily, the Mistress of the Dark herself, Elvira, isn't letting us get away with skipping Halloween that easily.
The spooky icon returned today with a new PSA titled "Don't Cancel Halloween." Fittingly set to the tune of Madonna's "Holiday," the clip sees Elvira bemoan the fact that the ongoing pandemic has ruined her favorite time of the year lamenting that "first of all, you have to wear a mask over your mask" and "instead of ghosts and goblins, you don't stand a ghost of a chance unless you're gobbling hydroxychloroquine*." (*Disclaimer: the FDA cautions against the use of hydroxychloroquine to treat COVID-19 outside of a hospital as it has shown no signs decreasing the likelihood of death from the disease or speeding up recovery and can cause heart rhythm problems.)
While we probably won't get to see everyone running around dressed as sexy flies or Joe Exotics, even Elvira has to admit that the wisest thing to do this year is stay inside. "Stay at home on Halloween, read a magazine. Don't stay up 'til very late, be in bed by 8," she concedes. "Like Frankenstein without a bride, just stay inside, can't you see that my soul just died?"