This is What You Missed Last Month (According To Linux), in which nightlife it-girl Linux takes us behind the velvet rope and into the VIP section of Scene-City. Through her extreme (sometimes exaggerated) lens, Linux gives us the tea on what really happened at every party-of-the-century that floods our Instagram feeds. (A note from the author: don’t take what she says too seriously — she’s just a club kid after all).
If one wants to be successful at entertaining in the home, it is dire they not only fulfill their guests’ wants and needs but also predict what their company doesn’t yet know they desire. I know what you’re thinking: “So I have to cook, clean, merry-make, DJ and predict the future all at the same time?” Precisely. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: Thou shalt not partake in party-throwing unless you’re one thousand percent capable of doing it solo. Too many times we’ve been dragged to a dinner party and are all-too-soon tricked into peeling potatoes. (In a fresh manicure, no less!) Within the blink of an eye: quickly demoted from guest-of-honor to underpaid line cook. Why am I being sent back out into this frigid New York weather to get ice from the bodega...isn’t that your job?
As the New York Downtown It-Girl, I attend a plethora of shittily-produced parties. Too many times, out of sheer empathy for the unloved attendees around me, I find myself running around an event that isn’t mine fixing lights, atmosphere, table set-ups and enforcing DJ set times. Here I am, performing a $5,000 job for a club that probably doesn’t even know I exist. Luckily for me, in the month of November, the Party Producers of New York City finally followed my advice on hosting and got their act together. This allowed me the rare duty of simply attending, without lifting a finger.
But, as you all know, I never only “simply attend.” While I was at the hottest parties to grace our town this month, I wrote down every detail on who attended and what they did, so that they could live-on eternally in the nightlife bible: my column. In NYC especially, home can be anywhere. These are the people, places, and things that earned themselves firstplacetrophies in the effortfully effortless ways they welcomed us into theirs.
Towel skirt: Balenciaga
November 8: H&M Rabanne Launch Party
Photo by Madison Voelkel/BFA.com
Fashion events are hard to come by this time of year. Luckily H&M has kept the glam going with their seemingly nonstop high-fashion brand collaborations. Their newest bestie? Rabanne (hold the Paco!). At the same hotspot as Ivy Getty’s Halloween party, Jean’s, H&M and Rabanne threw the ultimate night to celebrate their newest collection with the renowned Spanish design house. I invited my most fashion-obsessed DJ friend, Volvox, as my date. Deacon Phillippe and Zuri Marley spun on the decks as it-girls Emily Ratajkowski and Chloe Sevigny (my sister-in-law) mingled on red velvet couches that cost no less than $10K each. New York’s it-boy CT Hedden wasn’t too far from them, as he ensured photographs of his head-to-toe Rabanne look taken on every camera in the building. Internet hair-god Brad Mondo stood in line for the bathrooms just long enough for me to finesse a few shampoos out of him. With an unlimited supply of mezcal at the bar and Rabanne H&M logos plastered on every flat surface in the building, it wasn’t hard to feel like you were at the best launch party capitalism could buy. Keep an eye out for next month’s cover of this column: I’ll be wearing the entire thing!
November 10: Fashion Is Dead
Photo by Santiago Felipe
A rescheduled party from Halloween, “Fashion Is Dead” was Ladyfag’s newest bright idea that was sure to blow the mind’s of her loyal fanbase of nightclubbers. Having two competing parties that same evening on the same block would’ve made the average party producer break down, but this only pushed Ladyfag to slay harder, leading to another undeniably successful evening for her in an “undisclosed Brooklyn warehouse.” The theme was (surprise!) “Fashion Is Dead.” Guests were encouraged to come as trends, setters and styles of the fashion industry’s past, and they did not disappoint. I got there before midnight and just by a quick scan of the room, I eyed a sea of unforgettable Alexander McQueen looks, D-I-Y Bella Hadid Coperni dresses and coked-up Anna Wintours with biceps. I decided to go the camp route and matched my friend in 2007 Hollister getups... spray tan and scrunched hair included. Ladyfag herself went for a much more fashionable approach, dressing as the iconic Lynn Yaeger. What started as one large room with wrap-around projection mapping and sound production to match quickly turned into a multi-room experience with multiple DJs and dance floors. By 2 AM, the costumes came off and the fashion quiteliterally died as muscle gays and hot people alike stripped down into their bare minimum in order to dance sexier and harder. A Halloween party taking place two weeks after Halloween ended up to be a refreshing first-time-in-a-while party where New Yorkers dressed up, just because!
November 11: Steamroom
New York City has seen its fair share of bath house parties this year, with moments like Ricardo Tavares’ ConTEAnental and others. A somewhat newer hotshot of the underground, Sam Liebling (with the rumored help of the now-retired Unter’s Seva Granik) introduced the city to it’s newest bathhouse rave: Steamroom. With a flyer nearly impossible to read, and virtually no online information about the event, Steamroom was sure to be a hit. Upon entering, guests were given a locker, a towel and a dream. From there they could (and did) dip in the multiple pools, lounge sexually on the sidelines, use the saunas and partake in “other bathhouse-things.” In the main steam room, partygoers could full-on rave around a brought-in DJ booth to the sounds of iconic techno DJs like Word Of Command, Flirty800 and Yaki. Towards the end of the early morning, the unannounced headliner (just landing from Berlin), Herrensauna’s MCMLXXXV, gave the kids a set-to-remember-that-they’d-surely-forget. Every drug addict's eyes are currently on Sam Liebling and what he’ll do next for our city’s underground techno scene. Drunken afters-whispers are on Steamroom’s hopeful return in the new year.
November 28: Dr. Martens x Ganni with LOLAHOL
Photo by Madison Voelkel
Fresh off of everyone’s Thanksgiving benders, Dr. Martens and clothing brand Ganni invited the who’s who of Bushwick to celebrate 10 years of Tumblr’s favorite boot: The Jadon. Taking place at what may one day be remembered as the Studio 54 of Myrtle-Broadway: the two-story nightclub, Paragon. I’m not exaggerating when I’m telling you this was the ultimate doll link-up. In the center of the party, the Plastics of Doll Models Alex Consani, Memphy and Jovel were seen posing for endless photos. Teddy Quinlivan was running around somewhere in a school-girl skirt. Passing by was Amanda Lepore with her brood of fashion ducklings. At the bar was Miss Madeline and the internet’s favorite, Blizzy McGuire, both in accidental matching racer jackets and trucker hats that would make a Lot Lizard blush. Devin Halbal posed on the Ganni x Dr. Martens step-and-repeat. I attempted to take shots of tequila with Kevin Aviance but immediately threw it up behind the ATM next to us. Downstairs, while checking my jacket, I ran into two of the three Misshapes, Greg K and Leigh Lezark (we love a family reunion!). Around 11 PM, LOLAHOL (FKA Lourdes Leon) performed her underground K-Hole hits including her newest upcoming single “Boy Next Door.” After her show, the party quickly devolved into a how-many-dolls-can-we-fit-into-the-DJ-booth competition, Lourdes included! In the spirit of the evening, we all then stumbled down the street to Bossa Nova Civic Club, a spot that of course Madonna’s daughter would be at until the lights came on!
Photography and styling: Airik Prince
Art direction: Chris Correa
