This article is a sponsored collaboration between LELO and PAPER

I've been masturbating the same way ever since I was a teenager — under the covers, eyes closed, right hand active, trying to picture something or someone exciting, getting the job done in 5-10 minutes. It's never felt very special or sacred. But lately the time I spend with myself has become more holy. I'm alone more than I ever have been before and I'm trying to do my best to enjoy my own company.

That's why I decided it was time to purchase the LELO Sila, a clitoral stimulator with eight settings made for radical self-love. The LELO Sila was created with self-pleasure, slow sex and intense orgasms in mind — all things I really need right now. And I'm going to tell you all about my honest experience in this LELO Sila review.

I decided to check out the LELO brand because it's known for its high-tech pleasure toys geared toward women. LELO has a lot of sensual toys that piqued my interest, but I knew I was looking for something beginner-friendly and non-threatening.

The LELO Sila, a clitoris stimulator, caught my eye. It's round and a perfect size to hold in your hand. I always orgasm through clitoral stimulation (like most women), so that's what I wanted to focus on. It's also waterproof and has eight pleasure settings, and you can lower and raise the intensity of the vibration. Plus, it's millennial pink! I couldn't wait to try it out.

When the package with LELO Sila arrived, I created a ritual to welcome it into my life. I dimmed the lights, put on my favorite soft music, lit a candle at my self-love altar and settled onto the bed. The packaging itself was beautiful — LELO Sila comes with a satin storage pouch, a USB charging cord, a warranty registration card (no faulty merch here!) and a detailed instruction manual so anyone can figure it out.

But I found that no instruction manual was needed — though the LELO Sila has multiple settings, it only has three buttons and they're intuitive to use. Holding the LELO Sila in my hand, I was so pleased with how utterly soft it was. I knew it would feel great against my skin.

I stripped naked, fully leaning into this self-love experience. I turned the LELO Sila on to a low vibration and fingered the mouth of the toy. It's extra-wide, made to fully fit over the clitoris and provide a deep vibration not just to your clitoris, but throughout the entire vulva. I turned it to a steadily vibrating setting, moving it around my clitoris, warming myself up and turning myself on. I laid on the bed, playing around with the different settings, then I laid on my side, ready to try a different position and turn up the intensity.

I loved how many levels I could play around with. Once I did cover my clitoris, it felt really intense — like the best oral sex I've ever had. (And probably ever will have. A tongue definitely has its own advantages, but the consistency of the toy's settings plus the ability to be totally in control of how you're being stimulated feels truly amazing.)

With the LELO Sila pinned between my legs on an oscillating setting with a rolling intensity, I think of a new fantasy today, something wildly outside of my reality. (Please try not to judge me — this is just what I need right now!) I've been watching a lot of television about the British royal family lately, so I went full princess. I'm a newlywed visiting a faraway castle (it's ours now, gifted to us by the queen) with my dashing husband for the first time. It's a warm summer day and hundreds of rose bushes are in bloom by the slowly flowing stream. We put down a comfortable picnic blanket, eat strawberries and drink Champagne, and make passionate love outside, no one for miles but us, our love and a pure white horse somewhere nearby waiting to take us home to our silk bed.

I roll onto my knees and imagine myself in control, riding my prince slowly. I'm in no rush, relishing in taking my time, teasing myself with the different settings. The silicone in the LELO Sila is engineered to absorb sonic waves and transmit them back to the clitoris, for deeper but gentler sensations that bring you to an intense orgasm (or several).

For a couple of minutes I'll turn up the intensity and switch over to a setting with quick bursts of vibration, then I'll calm things down again, moving the toy away from direct contact with my clitoris, turning the vibration lower, on a setting that slowly massages. When I'm finally ready to cum, I turn the intensity all the way up and turn to a setting with a constant vibration. I cum, hard, for at least 30 seconds, my orgasm continuing to build.

When I'm done, I've discovered what a joy masturbating can actually be. It doesn't have to always be a sad few minutes — it can be a full hour (or more) of a slow buildup of joy, a deep dive into a healing fantasy world, a true escape from the monotony of time alone. I give the LELO Sila a full five stars — it's easy to use, extremely effective, cute and an amazing tool to learn how to better love yourself in a time you need it most. Plus, you'll have the most incredible orgasm of your life. You can thank me later.

Discover the wonder of slow sex with LELO Sila.

Photos courtesy of LELO

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