Drita D’Avanzo Will Fight the Whole World If She Has To

My favorite anti-hero is back on television now with a new cast of bullies and villains, courtesy Peacock’s third season of the cult favorite House of Villains. Alongside re-launching Tiffany “New York” Pollard back into the reality television mainstream, it’s brought along a whole host of reality television staples out of retirement alongside her — D’Avanzo being one of them. When she got the call, she scoffed, not identifying with the “villain” label herself, despite those brawls she remembers with some sadness a decade ago on VH1’s Mob Wives.

“My first reaction was like, ‘What do you mean? I beat villains up.’ My whole life, I beat up bullies. I fought for strangers. I fought for the kid in a wheelchair. I didn’t know those people. I fought for the gay kid in the hallway! I fist fought and protected strangers. I'm the one that flies in and starts beating on everybody that's picking on someone.” She laughs now, her mood lightening. “My mentality was like, I'm not a villain. My fans are going to bug because they ain't going to be happy about that shit.”

Those fans certainly made themselves heard on social media, after the announcement, and have continued to show up in force to support D’Avanzo as she blazes through the competition. Like on Mob Wives, she balances that precarious mixture of a mother’s tenderness and compassion with a quick temper and fierce sense of justice. “I told my kids, ‘I am grown. I am mature. I will not curse. I will not fight.’ I said, ‘Understand this. When I go on this show, I will not do any of that.’ And my kids were just like, ‘That's great, mom.’ I know in their head they were like, ‘Wow, this lady just lives in denial.’”

She’s clearly aware of the duality inherent in herself. While she laughs that people like her and me are probably the “demented ones” for seeing the truth in it, I know we’re not alone. That fierce femininity, or “lady boss” attitude, as she’d describe it, has had a tangible effect on the world around her. Like a fan who once told her that seeing D’Avanzo fight on television gave her the strength to stand up to an abusive husband that had put her in the hospital. “She goes, ‘So you can say bad things or feel down and out when you do or be yourself, but understand this. There’s millions of mes out there. And to stick up for yourself when you’re being bullied, a lot of people go through that, or they’re being abused. Not everyone is like you.’”

We’re both crying now, for probably the third time this interview. She laughs again, wiping the tears. “This is a messed up interview.” I compose myself while she launches into another story about sticking up for the down and out.

For the rest of our messed up interview, read Drita D’Avanzo’s entire conversation with PAPER below.

How are you doing Drita? You’re still hanging on.

Crazy, right? That’s something I did not think that would happen, to be honest with you. Even going into this show, I was like, “I’m not going to last long.” I swear to god, that was my mentality. You know how people are like, “Oh, I’m going to manifest winning. I’m going to manifest this and I’m going to do that.” I was the complete opposite.

So many people on this show are coming from Survivor, Big Brother, that sort of thing.

And I got the criminal world!

They’re strategizing, and they’ve played all these games before. How much did you prepare? Did you go in blind?

I went in blind. I realized six episodes in, oh, snap. I thought I'd be out of there quick. I realized these people are from challenge shows. I'm an outgoing, friendly person, but I'm an introvert. It's weird. I like to be out there, but at the same time, you're putting me in a home to live with strangers. That's not how I roll. So I was thinking in my head, first of all, I'm going to miss my dog. Second of all, my kids. [My daughter] Gizelle had important things going on in her life, and I was like, "I can't do this."

I put everyone before me a lot. And I just also was like, I can't do a challenge show. I don't know anything about these things. I don't watch them. So I did go in blind. And then I was like, what can make me sane in a house where I'm not allowed to leave? Even though I love to be in my home and be by myself, you still know you could leave. So this was like a beautiful prison, and you had a bunch of lunatics that wanted to kill each other for $200,000. I am from a street life, where you sit with someone you trust and they literally are wired and destroy your life. That’s what happened with [my ex-husband] Lee’s best friend.

I can read people. I'm really good at figuring you out by the way you talk, walk. I didn't study the show, figure out how to win the show, but I was going to just use what I was good at.

I think a lot of OG Mob Wives fans, we never really saw you as the villain That's not my relationship to you, I didn't think of you as the villain back then. I saw you as the hero of that show. When you got the call and they were like, "Okay, you're going to be in a room with a bunch of villains." Did you think, wait, am I a villain too? Or were you like, "I get it, with the Mob Wives of it all. "

My first reaction was like, "What do you mean? I beat villains up." My whole life, I beat up bullies. I fought for strangers. I fought for the kid in a wheelchair. I didn’t know those people. I fought for the gay kid in the hallway! I fist fought and protected strangers. I'm the one that flies in and starts beating on everybody that's picking on someone. So my mentality was like, I'm not a villain. My fans are going to bug because they ain't going to be happy about that shit. Taylor Swift, she's got the Swifties. Guess what? I got my own crew. My fans are the best. And I'm not just saying that. I do pay attention. I read and I watch everything. And I notice with anybody on reality TV, you got maybe 60 / 40 on negative and positive. Mine? God bless me, it’s like 98% positive. If you come after me, my fans come after you. So they weren't happy about the “villain” word. Do I think it's catchy? Yes. But I think of myself as a hero. I still break ribs and knock people’s teeth out. So really, in reality, maybe me and you are demented.

The funny thing is, when I said I said I’m going to be on House of Villains, hundreds of thousands of people posted on Instagram and were pissed. They were like, “You’re not a villain. Why did they call you a villain?” It’s so funny.

It’s been a minute since Mob Wives, and people have seen you on TV. In the last couple of years, the show has blown up again, and has this whole new audience of people who have discovered it and fallen in love with you all over again. Was that ever surprising, that the show keeps going and its legacy feels so eternal in the reality TV landscape?

I knew when the show started, I knew! I have a gift, my sense of things. That’s why when they offered me spin-offs and things like that, I just felt they wouldn’t work. I could feel it. When Mob Wives started, I truly knew that it would be a phenomenon, because they tapped into a world that is taboo and intriguing and enticing, and nobody lived like us and nobody talked like us. Nobody acts like us. Good for them, by the way! It’s a compliment, but it’s like a bad car accident and you just have to look.

Everybody would approach me and be like, “You helped me speak up for myself. You helped me be able to fight back. Because listen, let’s be real, I was bullied on that show for years. Nobody gives sympathy and I’m not looking for it. But it’s true, I was bullied, I was miserable. Except, god rest her soul, Big Ang. I had to fight and fight and fight and fight for myself.

To borrow a word of yours, a lot of people on TV these days, these jerkoffs, they're one way on camera and a different way off camera.

100%.

I think maybe what people love about Mob Wives, and maybe now with House of Villains, is that these are people who, love them or hate them, are exactly as you see them. I think that really is something that a lot of people feel drawn to now.

Oh, they resonated with that, the realness of Mob Wives. When I found out that a lot of reality shows… not that they're scripted, but they're not a hundred percent real. The Weinstein Company did Mob Wives, I went to a meeting and I begged them to make it fake. I said, "First of all, I heard reality shows are not like our show." I said, "And I don't know why you're doing this to me. I don't sleep. I pace my house because if I was 18 doing this show, I would've been in jail, probably not jail, prison. I would've been in prison." So I was a half lunatic at that age. They were lucky they caught me in my mom stage and that's saying a lot because I still did damage, right?

But that was real hard for me. And I was like, "I can't deal with this shit." I literally was thinking in my head, why can't they make our show fake? I know it's sad to say, but I wanted and needed that. And I'll never forget, I think it was Harvey Weinstein, or maybe David Glasser, it was one of them that worked with him, I don't remember exactly. He said to me, "Well, if it was scripted and some of it was fake, would you get as angry as you are? " I said, "Well, you're just telling me right now that you're pissing me the fuck off for views." I said, "That is really messed up. That's like throwing a pit bull in a cage and just poking him and he can't come to bite you.”

I said, "You're making me nuts and I know that's great for you, but I'm still human." I don't think people understood. I had a hard time every year. I know the fans loved it. I wanted out. I was like, "I don't want to do this anymore." I only did Mob Wives because I was lied to. You're not going to believe this, but I was told this was going to be women empowering women and we're going to show ourselves being friends and powerful. I was like, "That is such a great cause."

Maybe you didn't empower each other, but I guess I could safely say you empowered a generation of women watching you.

I don't want to talk too much and you don't have all day, but I will tell you a short story that made me ... I mean, I cried. I could probably cry talking about it, but there was a girl that came when I had my store Lady Boss. She came to my store and she tattooed “Lady Boss” on her forearm. So she shows it to me, and she told me: “I was being abused physically very badly by my husband. He was beating on me.” She said, "And I went through a very hard time in my life, Drita. I watched you in an interview saying you're upset with yourself. You hate that you get violent or whatever, or you curse too much."

She goes, "You were saying all these negative things, and I'm just going to tell you that because of you, you saved my life." She said, "I was hospitalized because of him.” In the hospital, she started watching Mob Wives. She goes, "I felt so in love with you, because I'm so opposite of that. I would never speak my mind. It makes me sick that I can't." She says, "And I also was getting beat up. And then I was pregnant. He was beating on me. " And she goes, "When I was on the floor..." I feel like crying right now. I'm a sensitive person.

So she continues: “He was beating on me. And I thought in my head, ‘What would Drita do?’" And I swear to god, she says, "I grabbed a vodka bottle, I smashed it over his head, which he didn't see coming, or he would never think I would ever do something like that. But I smashed it over. He got knocked out. I called 911. He was arrested. Because of that," she goes, "He got clean. He's no longer an alcoholic. He's the best guy in the world. I did hurt him, and stuck up for myself. It changed my life." So I started crying and she hugged me. She goes, "So you can say bad things or feel down and out when you do or be yourself, but understand this. There’s millions of mes out there. And to stick up for yourself when you’re being bullied, a lot of people go through that, or they’re being abused. Not everyone is like you.”

I hung out with her for the rest of the day, it was an incredible moment.

If that queen is reading this, by any chance, we love you and we’re still thinking about you! As for you Drita, getting back to House of Villains, you said earlier you used to beat up people to defend gay kids that you went to high school with. Your biggest fan on the show, Plane Jane, screamed when you walked in. You have to know gay people love you.

They also know that I love them!

How aware of that were you, because gay people loved Mob Wives?

Me and Ang had the biggest gay fanbases.

My gay friends used to come make cocktails at my apartment every week, and it’d be me and a bunch of gays watching you and Ang. Is that fanbase something that grew as the show was happening, after it finished airing?

I was very happy that that happened. I'm not trying to separate and make it like the gays are the smartest people on earth… but gay people are on point. Okay? They have a gift, I think, of being able to see through people. We had a lot of gay friends, Ang and I. She would have parties… and this is Staten Island… that were all trans women. It was fun as hell, and they’d been through a lot in their life.

In my era, it was not like it is. Now, it’s just different. It’s wonderful that it’s different. There's so many gay kids in school. It's not like you're hiding it, or you feel uncomfortable. I fought for a gay kid in the hallway in high school. He was getting bullied. He was actually getting really badly bullied by a bunch of thug type kids that grew up in my neighborhood, in the projects. And when I was going to class, I had to sneak back in school. I was pretty bad. I snuck back in school, and I'm walking down the hallway and I hear terrible ... I don't want to say the word... it pisses me off now, even thinking about it a hundred years later.

So they’re calling him that word, right? I'm going down the hallway and I hear it. I said, “God, why do you do this to me?” Because I know what's going to happen. I'm going to start brawling. It doesn't matter what it is. I'm fighting for this kid. So I turn around and run down the hallway. This kid does not know me. I’m in baggy jeans and sneakers, I was a very athletic girl, so I didn’t fear fighting, because I could fight. So these three kids have them cornered, and it’s so fucked up. He’s covering his face because he’s getting abused, and they’re screaming in his face. I grabbed one of them. “What’s up motherfuckers. You want to fight? We’re going to fight. He’s just gay. It takes three of you motherfuckers to fight? If you’re going to abuse this kid, you’re going to fight me right now. We are fucking fighting.”

I turned around and looked at him, and he was looking at me like, holy shit, this girl’s crazy. I said, don’t ever fear people like this ever, ever, ever. I grew up with tough guys around. Tough people don’t do this shit. Only little bitches do this shit. Watch how I beat the fuck out of all of them. Don’t you ever be ashamed of who the fuck you are ever, ever, ever.” I said, “You walk around with your head proud. You understand?” One of them knew exactly who I was, exactly how I fought. He’s like, “I didn’t know you knew him.” I said, “I don’t even fucking know him. Now I know him. Now he’s my friend. I dare you to fuck with him.” They did not want to fight me. They go back to class and I looked at him and he was teary eyed and he hugs me.

I feel like crying again! This is a messed up interview. But you know what? I just feel so bad for anyone that… he couldn’t even be himself. He didn’t bother nobody and they’re fucking abusing him, and it made me nuts! I told him, I said, “You don’t know me, but I have no problem fighting. So you got me as your friend and don’t ever be ashamed of who you are.” I’m going to tell you what the best story about this whole thing is. I had done this for another kid that was gay, and during a dinner with really important people, guess who ended up on Facetime?

Oh my god?

He’s with his husband, and he goes, “Do you know who I am?” I said no, because you have to remember, I did this for strangers. He’s like, “Drita, I’m watching that show, and I told my husband, that’s the fucking girl. That’s the girl that fought for me, you have no idea what she did.” He’s like, “Drita, you don’t know what you did for me.” And I started crying! I was at dinner!

With Mob Wives, there’s a sizable part of the audience where in our society, there’s a lot of people that feel like outcasts and misfits. They don’t feel like they fit in, with the way we’re told we have to be or the kinds of behaviors and rules we’re told to follow. And here was a group of women who didn’t really fit in with what the rest of the country thought and acted like.

Right? And you know what, do you see who voted for Plane Jane to stay? I wanted Plane to stay, period. I love Plane. And my kids loved, when they watched it, they were like, “Oh my god, mom, you vote for the best people to stay. Everybody’s going against you voting wise.” I said no shit! All the kids that feel like outcasts, or feel like they don’t fit in, remember this, remember what I tell you: don't you ever, ever, ever be ashamed of who you are. You can call me because I'll fight for you. And there's a huge world with incredible people. You find your people, you have a choice. You find your people that love you. You don't need to be accepted by anyone but the people you love. So don't ever feel that way, because you're more loved than you know.

And, I’m bored by normal. Plane would come out that room… come on, man! I mean, that was incredible. You know how hard that is?I had to get ready for this interview, and I was going through hell to just curl the ends of my hair. I said to her, “It’s a gift that you could do that.”

Well, I want you as a guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race. We’re going to put that out into the universe now.

Oh, I want to do that.

Early this season, the editors cut together an expletive laden meltdown to music. I always loved that you have this maternal instinct, like with Plane, or the cooking, and then you also fly off the handle and fight. I love that duality. Going into it, were you like, “I’m going to stay cool. I’m going to be normal, I’m going to be calm, I’m going to be collected”?

You just described exactly what happened. I told my kids, "I am grown. I am mature. I will not curse. I will not fight." I said, "Understand this. When I go on this show, I will not do any of that." And my kids were just like, "That's great, mom." I know in their head they were like, "Wow, this lady just lives in denial." So my daughter's like, "So if somebody curses you out and wants to fight with you… " I said, "It doesn't matter. I could deal with that now. Times have changed. Things have changed." Plus that's embarrassing.” I say that's embarrassing for everything. Meanwhile, it took what? It was not even a couple of days that I called the whole house out to fight ,and I definitely should win the Guinness Book of World Records on the amount of curse words I've said.

And after, I'm like, "Fuck, man. Am I ever going to not be like this? " I don't think I could deal. I don't know. I have a very tough family. They're not from street life, but they're tough. The women are tough, tough. My aunt was telling this story about when she dragged somebody that disrespected her. So the person told her, "Go back to your country,” or something. My aunt grabbed her by her hair and flung her around. I said, "How old were you when this happened?" She was like, "Can you believe that happened to me? I was, I don't know, maybe 60-something.” I was like, "Oh no. I don't think this is ever going to go away."

Image courtesy of Peacock/NBCUniversal