The new season of The Bachelor is yet to air, but they may as well cancel it because we already have a winner. Her name is Bri, she's a 24-year-old model from Southern California, and she's pretending to be Australian in order to get attention from the show's leading man (ex-Bachelorette contestant Colton Underwood, NFL player and dog lover).
In a teaser clip shared on Twitter, people's hero Bri meets Colton for what's presumably the first time. She lays on a thick, reasonably authentic (it's a little more Auckland than Sydney) down under drawl. "You've got a nice accent," Colton says, eating it up. "Where are you from?"
Is this lie going to take her down (under)? #TheBachelor https://t.co/OrHrathRYJ— The Bachelor (@The Bachelor)1546539290.0
AND HERE'S WHERE THINGS GET TRULY DIABOLICAL: Bri doesn't actually lie. This clearly isn't her first rodeo. With a coy smile, she merely responds that her accent is Australian. Technically accurate.
"I was kind of hoping you're a sucker for accents," she tells her suitor. In a cutaway, she explains that "you have to do what you have to do to stand out." An instantly iconic phrase I would like to see printed on a t-shirt.
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What is her end game here? How much of a backstory has she prepared? Who's the current Prime Minister of Australia, Bri? What's the weather like in Canberra? Honestly, the answers to these questions don't matter. The faker this performance, the better. No offense, but I don't think Colton is going to know the difference.
We stan a scammer! Let's all try this new pick up technique at the club tonight. The Bachelor season 23 premieres Monday, January 8.
Screengrab via Twitter