Chanel Ayan Wants People to Stare

PAPER readers might also recognize her as a frequent favorite of So Chic, Very Chic, our weekly Bravo fashion column. Onscreen, her outfits consistently rub up against the perceived social norms of Dubai high society, no matter how well-dressed her peers might be. ”The only people that would watch when we’re filming somewhere is because I would come with a big couture dress. But the rest of the people, not so much, because everybody wears branded stuff in Dubai. It’s a very common thing.”

Still, in the buttoned up world of penthouses and ultra-luxe hotel restaurants and desert retreats, in struts Ayan, dressed like a literal disco ball in a dress that weighs as much as she does. It’s not that we’ve never seen couture on these shows before (shoutout Sutton Stracke’s frequent collusion with it on RHOBH), it’s that nobody wears it like Ayan. She is, most evidently, the very personification of the idealized world couture grasps at, where 200 yards of tulle and a crown as tall as the Burj Khalifa is the usual fit for a coffee shop date with a frenemy.

Beyond the clothes though, Ayan has captivated viewers with her searing personal testimony as a survivor of poverty and female genital mutilation. “The only people that knew were my husband and my son. Not even my family knew; they learned it from TV. None of my friends knew. When I opened up about my story, it was the cameraman, Sara, the woman that was there, and that’s it.” While ultimately healing, Ayan says the journey afterwards felt fraught. “I was in the darkest moment of my life. I couldn’t even leave the house. Because now, I think the only thing people saw wasn’t like, the funny girl, the mom, the model. I just think the people say, oh, she has FGM.”

The moment stands as one of the most moving episodes of the Real Housewives I’d ever seen, but Ayan admits the reaction amongst her own community didn’t reflect the perception of the show’s audience stateside. “Maybe I’m the first one that will be bullied for it, and the person that will take a lot of shit on national television. But guess what, maybe it can change people’s mind. Maybe they will see it, and they will change. It’s changing my family.”

Chanel Ayan is a singular woman, an unparalleled model and the best thing to happen to Bravo in some time. Hear it all, in her own words, below.

How have you been feeling? How is the season going for you?

Oh, I'm loving this season a lot, because I feel like people get to see other sides of me that they didn't see last season. I think that I like the fact that they're getting to see the fun side of me. They get to see me building Ayan Beauty, which is a makeup line I just started for me and my family. And part of the reason why I started the brand is because I want to bring awareness to FGM (female genital mutilation), and proceeds go to try to stop it. I also feel like people get to see me being silly more, which I like.

I want to get back to your personal journey in a second because I think there's a lot there. But one thing I will say about Dubai, specifically, is the show just has a distinct look from all of the other Real Housewives. Do you ever feel that when you watch the other shows?

Oh my god, I look at them, and I'm like, "What are you wearing? I know you have so much money. You can’t tell me that's what you come in with on camera. Do better!" Oh my god, they can be so basic.

I definitely noticed that in the first season you really brought it while other people were maybe finding their footing, fashion-wise. This season, I can tell that people are trying to keep up with you. Did you feel that?

Massively. They are my ops, you know? You have to understand this: I don't see people's confessional looks because we don't share pictures of each other’s professional looks. I'm sitting down, and I'm like, "The fuck are you wearing?"

Sara showed up in this huge Pierpaolo Piccioli-style ballgown!

I texted Sara, like, "Since when are you wearing couture!"

I sat there like, damn, you can tell that Sara looked at Ayan last season like, “Shit, I have to bring it.”

All of them stepped up, and I'm okay with them all stepping up, because I want them to step up. But give some credit to me! Because last year, they wore like, tight jeans, t-shirts. They were literally the basic bunch. I'm sorry, a Louis Vuitton bag, a Chanel bag, does not make you fashionable, you know?

That's just shopping in the mall.

It’s shopping in the mall! And then I'm sitting there, and I'm like, "I'm so happy that you guys are my sons. Copy me, I'm happy."

There is a moment that I keep going back too, where you thought you’d have a chic, desert party, and instead you had to trudge through the sand in that huge blue dress. What did you feel when you realized you weren’t just going to sit down for a nice dinner and had to slide down those sand dunes?

I think half of the time, I just ignore Stanbury’s voice notes when she sends me them. I didn’t play them, and I didn't know we were gonna do activities. I thought we were going to be in the desert, sitting, eating good food. I did my blue hair, my blue dress, and then I arrived and they're like, “Oh, you guys gotta go down the dunes.” And you know me. I'm a sport. I can go down the dunes. There was sand everywhere in my body, literally, and when I tell you it was hot! I was sweating everywhere, but beauty is pain. Nobody knew I was suffering, but I did.

That’s why you’re the model! You’re going to ride that sled down that dune in your couture. Did you ever feel that the other cast members had an attitude when you’d show up in your outfits?

They do. All the time. This is one of the reasons why I did the queen’s dinner. I specifically said, "I want you guys to come in the best versions of yourselves. Wear that for me. Stop complaining that I’m overdressed!" And how do they come? Like they came from Forever 21. So basic! I am in a gorgeous dress that should be at the Met Gala, looking fabulous, looking gorgeous. Brooks came with a crown at least. She understood the assignment with the crown but not her dress that you can buy from a supermarket. Even if you give them permission to be glamorous, they still show up in the cheaper versions of what I see in them.

One thing about Dubai that I’m interested in, if you can answer this: When you go out to film, do you notice other Dubai citizens matching your look, or do you guys stand out from the crowd amongst average Dubai fashion consumers?

The only people that would watch when we’re filming somewhere is because I would come with a big couture dress. But the rest of the people, not so much, because everybody wears branded stuff in Dubai. It’s a very common thing.

The Real Housewives also bring a level of drama that is inevitable. Did you ever find it difficult having to navigate Dubai’s customs when having explicit conversations in public, or loud conversations

I’m not promoting Dubai or anything, but I’ve lived here 20 years. In Dubai, you have to be respectful to people. It doesn’t matter who you are. Like, I cannot kiss my husband on the street because maybe somebody else will feel uncomfortable watching that. You cannot act out in the mall. You cannot scream at people and shout at people. Nobody does that to anybody. So when we do film, most of the time, we are ourselves because I think 90 percent of the people living in Dubai are expats. The expats kind of understand. They see the cameras. They know the Real Housewives. It doesn’t really bother them. But if, for example, there’d be a local Emirati family, or a local situation, then we can be a bit more respectful. We just make sure we don’t use the bad words they can be uncomfortable with. But yeah, we argue in public, and we do whatever we want because most of the places are expat areas.

That’s much different than most other places, definitely.

There’s no paparazzi! You cannot take someone’s picture without their permission because they find it disrespectful. When I was in New York, I went to a party, and people were taking pictures. I forget, because when you’re in Dubai, nobody does that. You also forget that people know you more in America than they know you in Dubai. So they’re taking pictures and videos and zooming in on me. So that is a big difference between Dubai and America.

You’ve been so open about your personal journey, and who you are, on the show. Where in your life did you start seriously considering fashion as a way to express yourself, or be the person you are today?

I would say I was 12 years old. My big sister that you see on the show: My dad loved my sister more than he ever loved me. Like there was never love towards me. So he made my sister this Christmas dress. My sister wore it, and I didn't have anything to wear. Later, I was going to another friend's house, and there was a tiny celebration. I wore that dress that my sister had made. I just felt so powerful when I wore it. There was something about it. There were ruffles. You know ruffles? I was going to my friend's place, and my father saw me and grabbed me and beat me and took the dress off me. And I just felt so sick that day. You know what I mean? One minute, I felt so beautiful, and then he took that away from me. Since then, I met my husband. I have money. Because I have the power now to feel how I want to feel, nobody's going to take that away from me. So I'm going to wear beautiful dresses to make myself feel good. I remember that feeling. Back then, most of my clothes, to be honest, were ripped. There were holes. I grew up that poor, and my sister’s dress was the first time I literally had something so stunning. Then he took it away from me.

That feeling of beauty always stayed with me. Every time I buy stuff, when I wear it, people don't understand this, but it's a mental thing for me. When I dress up, I feel so good about myself. I feel so powerful. That's why I just love dressing up. I feel like it's the Cinderella moment for me, because I think of all the big dresses as a safety net for me. It's like, you have so much protection around you, and you're looking beautiful. And everybody's looking. I love people looking at me!

I can relate!

It’s also a way of making myself feel like I’ve made it in life, and I’m safe and beautiful. I was always bullied for being so poor, having broken clothes.

You’ve been so courageous and brave about your experiences. It just isn’t something many viewers stateside would probably ever think to see on a show like this. Has it helped you to share so openly about what you’ve gone through, or have you found the experience overwhelming?

I don’t know how to start this. Well, when I went to film with Sara last year, that was something I never shared. The only people that knew were my husband and my son. Not even my family knew, they learned it from TV. None of my friends knew. When I opened up about my story, it was the cameraman, Sara, the woman that was there, and that’s it. I forgot about it, and then I’m at the reunion, and Andy is asking me about it. The episode hasn’t aired yet because we filmed the reunion before it aired. I’m like, "Yeah, it’s fine. I want to bring awareness." Blah, blah, blah. I was happy with it. But then when it aired? Oh my god, I don’t know if I can say this, but I was in the darkest moment of my life. I couldn’t even leave the house. Because now, I think the only thing people saw wasn’t like, the funny girl, the mom, the model. I just think the people say, "Oh, she has FGM."

My community did not like it. My father did not like it. People threatened to take me out, like, I have messages. My family, my aunties were like, “What the hell? Why would you talk about it? You’ve become too westernized. This is why you should not marry a white person. That is why the girls should never leave the community because if you leave the community, you think everything is wrong. This is fine with us. Why are you making it such a big deal? It’s not that bad.” But it is bad. Ninety-nine percent of my culture doesn't marry outside our culture. We don’t marry outside our culture whatsoever. It’s very rare. Like Iman got a lot of shit for it, you know? Because they will tell us, “Don’t be like her.”

It’s interesting just how different perception versus reality can be, hearing you talk about Iman, because the conversation about her in the fashion world is about how she was a trailblazing model and pioneer. It’s interesting to hear how her personal life might have been different in your community, so thank you for sharing that.

It put me in a very bad place. Then this season started filming, and I did not want to talk about it. Then I had a fight with Sara, who said I was playing the victim, and the pain of what I was going through, I took it out on her even harder. Then afterwards, I was like, "I have the power to do this. Maybe I’m the first one that will be bullied for it, and the person that will take a lot of shit on national television. But guess what, maybe it can change people’s mind. Maybe they will see it, and they will change." It’s changing my family. No one in my family is doing that to anybody. My sister has a daughter, and my brother has a daughter. It has not happened!

I was also like, I’m going to start Ayan Beauty. It’s my purpose. My brand is all about bringing awareness to it. I went back to Africa to talk to the girls, talk to some of the community. I was invited to an even in London for FGM. It’s not about me anymore. You can bully me. You can call me names, but if I’m saving people, I guess I'm making something worthwhile.

I want to bring it back to fashion to lighten the mood. The fashions this season are such an evolution from the last. Were there any designers that you were either really excited to work with, or that you hunted down, going into season 2?

Oh my god, I was so excited to work with Michael Cinco. He is like, the single biggest designer in Dubai. He’s dressed a lot of celebrities for the Oscars. I’ve modeled for him since I was 15 years old. I love working with Michael. Another designer that I really enjoyed was a local Emirati designer, Atelier Zuhra. She dressed Beyoncé when she was performing in Dubai. She is the designer for the blue dress in the desert. Another favorite is Ezra; he’s made dresses for me from scratch. And did you like my tiger look [in the recent episode]?

I was going to ask, Harvey Cenit is the designer, right?

Yes! Harvey Cenit!

I actually gasped out loud when it came on the screen.

He also made me look red. He’s up and coming, and he reached out and is like, "I really love you. I really want to make you something incredible." I told him I just shaved my head. He goes, "What?" I said I shaved my head, and I want something insane for confessional. He shows up at Ayan Beauty’s office with this big tiger, and I’m like, "Nobody’s ever done this." He also designed one more look. I don’t want to say what, but it’s going to come up. It’ll be a pussycat, so if you see it, you will know. Of course, I also wear stuff like Fendi, Dolce & Gabbana and Valentino. But those are big brands that everybody knows. The couture houses I really, really enjoy.

Last question. What has it been like putting together your own beauty line? What did you look for when putting together this shade range, these colors?

I used to sell bananas on my head on the street, so I'm really good at selling on the street, right? So I picked the colors that I thought would look beautiful on all skin tones. We worked with the people that make makeup for Scott Barnes, J.Lo's makeup line, stuff like that. So I was really happy that they took me in and guided me. All the names are about all the stuff that I said in the first season that are now famous. It keeps me busy, because I've been married for 25 years. My husband annoys me sometimes, and now I have an office to go to. I have a playground.

Photos courtesy of Chanel Ayan