"There was a lot of people who were very worried, understandably so," said Cara Delevingne in Vogue's latest cover story video. "But I wasn't really worried, though... but that is the nature of disease."
The supermodel opened up about her sobriety in Vogue's April cover story, a revelation which follows in the wake of much speculation on the state of her health and well-being by the gossip press. Of her decision to refer to the experience as "healing" instead of "recovery," she explained to Vogue in a video interview alongside the cover: "You don't recover, and that's okay... I prefer 'healing,' because I'm constantly doing it."
Delevingne said that she saw the stream of troubling paparazzi videos and photos of herself and realized how "bad" it had become. Sometime later, she entered long-term treatment through the 12-step program as opposed to what she saw as a "quick fix." She added: “All I knew is if I was continuing to go down the road I was, I would either end up dead... or do something really, really stupid."
The actor also explained that "treatment was the best thing. It was always something I was very scared of, but I think I needed that community. I needed that support group.” Because of it, she was able to experience her first Christmas and New Year's Eve sober and enjoy the experience with her girlfriend Leah Mason, aka "Minke".
She said that, despite her sobriety, she still goes out and dances, and has found the ability to have "deep conversations and connections with people." As of publication, she revealed she has been sober for four months. "This process obviously has its ups and downs, but I’ve started realizing so much. People want my story to be this after-school special where I just say, ‘Oh, look, I was an addict, and now I’m sober and that’s it.’" She adds: "It’s not as simple as that. It doesn’t happen overnight."
Through treatment, she says she realized “you can’t run from the things in your life that happen, and that’s all I ever wanted to do: just pretend they don’t exist." She added that she got "hired a lot to talk about and advocate for things like mental health for people that are struggling," and saw the irony when people publicly rejected her for also struggling. The irony is clearly not lost on Delevingne. "That's the business, and it's sad to see."
But it's ultimately a message of hope that Delevingne shared in her cover story and a testament to people's capacity for change. “Your life can change, if you give yourself a chance to really be who you are and sit in that uncomfortability, because my god, it’s uncomfortable!" Delevingne said. "But it gets better and it’s worth it.”
Photo via Getty/ Emma McIntyre
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