We've been wearing the fugly-practical Birkenstock sandals since high school, and can attest to their comfort. It's really amusing that the humble Birks have been so embraced by the fashion set, because they used to be a punchline for describing hippies living in Berkeley. Maybe people are tired of their feet hurting in ridiculous heels? After all, wearing heels consistently has been proven to increase your risk of developing osteoarthritis in your knees, which no one told us in our early twenties, when we had to own every pair of 6 inch-tall Alexander Wang shoes.
Years later, our Achilles tendons are begging us to cop these glitter Birks. At $145 each, they aren't cheap, but Birks are known for their durability. The foam that lines the footbed can also be cleaned with by mixing hot water with baking soda, and scrubbing it with an old toothbrush. Wear them with socks if you want to feel extra Ugly/Hot. Don't listen to social conditioning that is telling you that these shoes are hideous: they are awesome, and you know you want them. Embrace your glittery Birk destiny.