Billie Eilish is dead set on remaining her own person.
Last year, the Grammy winning artist shocked fans with her British Vogue cover, for which she underwent a complete style 180 by transforming into an old Hollywood-inspired blonde bombshell. And while the move alienated some of her followers, it turns out that the unexpected decision was her way of regaining control of her image after realizing that she had "no idea who I was."
In a new interview with NME, Eilish explained that she felt "trapped" by her public persona, which reduced her to "one kind of person and wore a certain type of clothes and made a certain type of music."
"And that haunted me, as people only thought of me in one dimension and I didn't like that," she said. And her solve? To change it up in order "to fuck with everyone."
As Eilish went on to explain, the style switch up was her way of exploring her "range" and different ways to "feel desirable, and to feel feminine and masculine." And though she's since gone back to a more familiar look, she added that the experience helped her also "prove that [she was in control of her persona] to myself, too."
Eilish added, "Now I finally feel comfortable in the person I actually am and being all of those things at once."
Even so, she also said that while she may be more comfortable in her own skin when it comes to the public realm, she's still in a "real transitional period" when it comes to her private life, as she's felt like she's been acting "a little complacent" and "accepting of things that weren't very fulfilling."
"I'm trying to find myself again," as Eilish said. "I don't want to live the way that I lived last year; I want to live differently. I want to trust my gut more and listen to myself more." Amen.
Check out Eilish's entire interview with NMEhere.
Photo via Getty / Joseph Okpako / WireImage
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