Kleenex to Rename 'Mansize' Tissues

"Mansize" tissues were introduced by the Kleenex as a stronger more-handkerchief-like alternative to generic effeminate tissues because, as we all know, when you cry manly tears your going to need a manly tissue to soak up all that liquid bravado. Lasting an impressive 60 years, the product had largely remained a peculiarity of the United Kingdom where it was first introduced. Kleenex announced today that after numerous customer complaints and critiques of unnecessary sexism in their product, that Kleenex would be changing the name to the less offensive "Extra Large."

Hi @Kleenex_UK. My 4yo son asked me what was written here. Then he asked, why are they called mansize? Can girls, boys & mummies use them? I said: I don’t know & yes of course. He suggests you should call them “very large tissues”. It is 2018 pic.twitter.com/SeOg32RsDV

— Lisa Hancox (@LisaMHancox) October 10, 2018

THERE'S NOTHING GENDERED ABOUT TEAR DUCTS FFS, we do not need 'strong, confident' man tissues

— Holly Brockwell (@holly) October 18, 2018

So farewell Kleenex Mansize: it's back to flicking bogies out the window chaps... pic.twitter.com/h6zFZkRpRg

— Pulp Librarian (@PulpLibrarian) October 18, 2018

"Kimberly-Clark in no way suggests that being both soft and strong is an exclusively masculine trait, nor do we believe that the Mansize branding suggests or endorses gender inequality," said Kleenex's Texas-based parent company in a statement about the name change. "Our Mansize tissues remain one of our most popular products, with 3.4 million people buying these tissues every year."

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Kimberly-Clark stated that the name phase-out was already underway and that customers would soon start to see new boxes on shelves soon. So it now comes time to bid a tearful farewell to Kleenex's "Mansize" tissues as they have now been relegated to the pointlessly-gendered product graveyard among other forgotten gems like Bic Pens "For Her," Q-Tips: Men's Ultimate, and Lady Doritos.