In the words of one Instagram commenter, "it's what Karl would have wanted." A classic quilted Chanel purse, with the chain replaced by a sleek black dildo, oversized and resplendent, unlike most penises you know.
Related | Fecal Matter's Everyday Extreme
No, sadly this isn't the work of Lagerfeld's successor Virginie Viard, but rather the genius Montreal design duo Fecal Matter, who notably sell all their products on Depop.
Fecal Matter have used the same BBC (head to urban dictionary if unsure) handle design on a few of their bags, including a fanny pack and a black vinyl evening purse decorated with tassel-like whips. But there's something special about this mashup of high (the dildo) and low (the Chanel) culture.
Susan Alexandra? Please. Telfar? Ugh. Jacquemus? Never heard of her! Below, some suggestions for where to rock 2019's latest It bag.
A Taylor Swift listening party
The true test of Swift's newly minted LGBTQ-friendly credentials: will she let you into one of her secret Lover sessions wearing a big ol' dildo over your shoulder?
Sweetgreen
Somehow seems like the line would move faster while wearing this.
Dunkin'
No one would bat an eye over the dildo bag at Dunkin,' because they're chill and they get it.
The farmer’s market
But take a spare canvas tote, because she doesn't have much fresh produce capacity.
A screening of 'Once Upon a Time in Hollywood'
Tarantino would surely approve.
A Democratic Party fundraiser in the Hamptons
#Resist!!!!!
Equinox
Speaking of... we know you didn't end up cancelling your membership.
Woodstock 50
Sure, the much-plagued festival is technically on hold at present, but greedy investors will surely revive it at some point. And you'll be there, with this highly impractical dildo bag.
Club Cumming
New York's most celeb-approved gay bar is the perfect place to show off your new investment.
The Pornhub awards
Obviously. Somebody call Bad Bunny!
Photo via Instagram