Bella Poarch is Writing Her Own Story

Singer. Songwriter. TikToker. Cosplayer. Veteran. (In the Navy sense, not, like, the pop-girl sense. An important clarification for us all.) Bella Poarch has worn many hats, but it is the singer-songwriter one Bella has had fastened on over the past year, as she has dedicated her time, effort, energy, and emotion to making her debut studio album, Picnic at the Cemetery.

We’re talking over Zoom in the lead-up to the release. The singles already out — “Ribcage,” “My Boy,” and “Stay Gone” — are electrifying. The production is both stylish and surreal and, lyrically, remarkably vulnerable. The woman who first skyrocketed to fame with a viral TikTok in 2020, in which a perfectly timed facial reaction became practically furniture in the spaces of social media, is now a bona fide artist in her own right. Bella, whose fame initially revolved around her physicality, is now telling her own story, on her own terms.

For Bella isn’t merely writing and singing; she also co-produced Picnic at the Cemetery, which finds new ground in the groovy, cinematic pop space between the likes of Lorde and Caroline Polachek. “I wanted every single song to have its own identity,” she tells me. “Now that I’m also a producer, I’m able to do that, which is really fun. The album is definitely experimental, because I used to do a lot of dark pop in the past.”

Her influences, she continues, come from “want[ing] it to sound more like what I would listen to on my everyday playlist, which is Björk songs, Imogen Heap, Gorillaz.” Throughout the interview, Bella is notably sweet and thoughtful. She is also witty, cracking jokes with all the casual confidence of someone who calls California home. “I can definitely say that my album is going to be on my everyday playlist when it’s out,” she adds.

We laugh throughout the interview. But it is her unflinching candor on the sensitive content explored within her album that resonates with me long after the interview concludes. At one point, I ask her where the inspiration behind the album name came from. “It’s about me growing up in the Philippines and celebrating All Saints’ Day. I’m not sure if you’re familiar, but it’s the Day of the Dead,” she explains.

“So I named it Picnic at the Cemetery because it’s a Filipino tradition to have a family gathering every November 1 in the cemetery; catch up with relatives, hang out with your cousins, and just have a picnic and talk about life. Celebrate loved ones who have passed. But I remember during that time in my childhood, I felt the safest being surrounded by relatives because at home I was going through so much abuse.”

Her tone slows. I listen to her measure her words. “And so that tradition every year kept me away from getting hurt at home. And now I titled it Picnic at the Cemetery because I feel like I’m able to revisit all those traumatic experiences in my life. And I’m able to just sit there and have tea with all of those buried memories that I just kept pushing down and say that, you know, I’m okay. I’ve survived those things.”

In that moment, I find myself taken with Bella’s resilience, her bravery, her sheer strength of self. This is an artist who has reclaimed her most traumatic experiences through the agency of storytelling. “I can just sit here and have tea and be okay and be proud of myself and celebrate that I’m still alive,” she says. “It’s a very personal album. It’s basically a story of my life.”

Read on for PAPER’s exclusive cover interview with Bella Poarch.

So, congratulations on Picnic at the Cemetery. I genuinely love the three singles already released. Like, “Ribcage” has been on repeat. Can you tell me about the inspiration behind the album?

Thank you! It’s a body of work that I created to tell the story of how I grew up. All of the songs talk about the best and worst experiences that I’ve had in my life. So it’s a picture of dark and bright songs, I guess. “Stay Gone” is a little different from the other two that I released, and that’s because I wanted the album to be diverse. I wanted every song to have its own identity.

Listening to the singles and EPs you’ve released over your music career, you can hear how you’ve changed throughout the years.

I think over the past few years, I’ve definitely learned a lot about music. I think I can definitely say that I’m releasing music that I absolutely love and am very proud of.

I love that. Do you have any particular songs you’re especially excited for people to hear for the first time?

I’m very, very excited for them to hear the first track of the album because it’s so different. I wanted it to sound like you’re stepping into a different world when you hear it. It’s called “Hideaway,” and I wanted it to be, yeah… what it sounds like. This album is kind of like a storybook. I’m not sure if you’ve seen the cover.

I have, yeah. It’s gorgeous. It reminds me a bit of the Tim Burton aesthetic.

Yeah. I wanted it to look like a storybook because every single song is a chapter, and each song represents a place or a character in the story. And so the characters on the album cover represent songs on the album.

You co-produced this album. I’d love to hear more about that.

It’s been very, very fun for me because I feel like now I have full control over what the song is. Most of the time, it’s really hard for me to articulate what I want the song to sound like. Let’s say, when I send them a Mitski song and I tell them, “I want this vibe. I don’t want it to sound like this, but I want the song to feel like this.”

And they never really understand me when I say that. So I’m just like, you know what? I’ll just take the computer. Let me just do it. It’s been really fun for me to learn a lot about the technical stuff and record my own vocals.

Because it is an interesting time for women in music, having more power behind the scenes of their music. We’ve seen Zara Larsson and Charli xcx taking control over their artistry.

Yeah, they’re so cool. Also, PinkPantheress. She’s so sick.

She’s so cool. But I have to stay on track because I could talk to you about this forever. So, let’s run it back. Your first single, “Build a Bitch.” It’s been five years.

Yeah, that’s crazy. Time goes by very fast. I’m very, very proud of that one. It’s still my favorite song that I’ve ever put out.

Music isn’t your only artistic medium. TikTok, acting, fashion, beauty. Do you see these as separate careers?

I feel like, to me, they’re all kind of the same. I love expressing myself through fashion. I feel like music and fashion are basically the same when it comes to the way I express myself.

And before the music, there was total virality on TikTok. Overnight, you just absolutely took over the internet.

Yeah, it was crazy. I just remember downloading the app after I got out of the military. This was the beginning of 2020, and COVID was happening during that time as well, so everyone was just locked up in their house. I was really bored. And I downloaded TikTok, and I got a little addicted to it.

And I was like, you know what? I should probably upload something. And I uploaded a video of me singing “Raindrops” by Ariana Grande.

Love it.

It got about 100 views, and then I took it down. I was so embarrassed. I didn’t know why I thought I was gonna go viral. But three months later, I was like, you know what? I think I should give it another try. And I posted lip-syncing videos, dancing videos, and that’s what people really liked. And so I kept making more, and then the Face Zoom video, the “M to the B” video — that was my first really viral video. It was insane.

I’m just so interested in how someone’s face can become public property like that.

It was crazy. During the time when that video went super viral, I was very shocked when I got recognized in public for the first time. And COVID was happening, so I had a mask on, and someone somehow recognized me because of my hair. I think I’m just grateful that that video went viral because I feel like I wouldn’t be here speaking with you today if that had never happened.

That’s a really lovely way of looking at it.

I’ve wanted to pursue music my whole life. I mean, I’ve been singing since I was seven, and even in the military, I was part of the Navy choir. One of my friends was producing at the time, and we both shared an interest in making music, and it really made deployment so much easier.

And now I think about all those experiences, and I’m just so grateful that I have so many supportive people in my life. So many great friends who give me really good advice. And yell at me when I’m not doing the right work.

You have crazy lore, as the kids would say. I wouldn’t say that — I’m 28. I don’t understand half of what is on TikTok nowadays.

My TikTok For You page right now is filled with a lot of cat memes, cat videos. I have three cats: Pee Pee, Wee Wee, and Doo Doo. Fun fact: at the end of the song “Garden,” I added Doo Doo’s purr because I just love the sound of his purr. I recorded it on a voice note, and I decided to put it at the end of the song.

It’s so obvious how committed you are to your music.

I think that’s just part of my growth as an artist, right? I think that the music I’m putting out and the album that I’ve created are definitely the most personal I’ve ever been in my music. I’m a perfectionist, so I made sure every song is just so me.

And I just want this album to… I want people, when they listen to it, to feel like they’re stepping into a different world. I wanted every song to have a visual identity, and I want them to step into the storybook and be somewhere else.

You’ve created this major piece of art. You’re not just telling your own personal story, but also that of your Filipino heritage and culture.

Yeah. I grew up in the Philippines, born and raised. I’m very proudly Filipino. I hang out with my Filipino friends a lot. We go to this restaurant, Kuya Lord. If you ever come out to L.A. and want to eat Filipino food, hit me up. I’ll recommend you the best Filipino food.

I totally will. Check those Instagram DMs around December, girl. Do you go back to the Philippines often?

I actually visited last April, and I went back to my hometown and visited the farm that I grew up on. And seeing the mahogany trees and the mango trees that I planted back when I was nine is insane.

I can imagine.

They’re all so tall. The mango trees bear fruit now.

Chief Creative Officer: Brian Calle
Executive Creative Director: Jordan Bradfield
Digital Director: César Alvarez
Fashion Director : Angelina Cantú
Producer: Ricardo Diaz

Photographer: Sophia Liv Maguire
Story: Bea Isaacson

Stylist: Elle Hioe
MUA: Matthew Fishman
Hair Stylist: Gregg Lennon Jr.
Photo Assistant: Rebeca Castillo
Styling Assistants: Roxana Aghaei, Brook Sibala
Production Assistant: Randy Ramirez