Trump's Latest Federal Judge Pick Is... A Ghost Hunter

Trump's Latest Federal Judge Pick Is... A Ghost Hunter

American democracy faces so many threats in 2017. There are rising tides of white nationalism, escalating gun violence, creeping infringements on women's reproductive rights, massive corporate corruption, the opioid epidemic, and of course, the wailing ghouls that won't let our families sleep at night until we find the necklace they buried in the backyard. We need a hero, a man of justice. We need a man that can litigate all of these important cases; a man who possesses courage, but also a night vision camera . A man who eagerly spends his weekends shouting "I AM TRYING TO MAKE CONTACT WITH THE LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES HERE" down the darkened hallways of abandoned state hospitals in the name of THE TRUTH. We need Brett J. Talley, Trump's nominee for Federal Judge in the ghost-riddled state of Alabama.

Sure, he might be a hyper-partisan blogger for the Far Right who has literally never taken a fucking case to trial, but who isn't these days? Yes, he may have lied about his marriage to a White House lawyer in his Senate Judiciary Committee Questionnaire, but as The Daily Beast points out, he was completely 100% up front and on-the-level about his involvement in the Tuscaloosa Paranormal Research Group from 2009-2010. The Beast caught up with David Higdon, Talley's former colleague in the TPRG about the group's activities, and he reported that things were pretty quiet during most of their investigations: "It's not like it is on TV. You sit in the dark and mostly wish something does happen." Maybe when he heads over to Washington DC for his hearing, he'll have the chance to investigate the demonic presence in the White House.

Aside from his paranormal curiosity, Talley is also the author of many horror novels, with titles like That Which Should Not Be and Biters-The Reborn with VERY dramatic Youtube trailers. If he's as good at upholding the Constitution as he is choosing fonts, this should all work out great.

Watch/read the trailer for "That Which Should Not Be" below...

[h/t The Cut]