A Quarantine Love Letter to the Daddy Across the Way
It's Nice to Laugh

A Quarantine Love Letter to the Daddy Across the Way

by Marty Miller

While most people took on simple quarantine tasks (such as using their kitchen oven for the first time), NYC performer — and "the cutest boy in the world" — Marty Miller embarked on a more ambitious project.

Starting the first day of isolation, Miller began creating hilarious puppet videos (50 to date) featuring pop songs from stars like Sam Smith and Ariana Grande, who both shared his performances on their Instagrams.

For PAPER's month-long comedy series, It's Nice to Laugh, we've asked Miller to write love letters to all the things getting him through quarantine. The first installment of With Love is an ode to the Daddy across the way.

To the Daddy across the way,

After nearly three months of this moment called quarantine not much has changed. I'm still lonely, I'm still drinking heavily, and I'm still waiting for Chromatica to be released and save us all. Sure, a few things have fluctuated. The weather (you've heard of her) has improved, I bought a helmet (still don't have a bike), and season 5 of Glee sadly just doesn't hit as hard, but as a whole everything has remained the same, everything but you.

We began our romantic journey as neighbors and nothing more. From my second floor fire escape I saw you, looking like someone who used to be good at sports, and hoped you would see me as well. We were a modern day Romeo and Juliet except we're not 14 and you have no idea what my name is (it's Marty, btw). Your well kept backyard kisses the disaster zone that belongs to the tenants below me. Weather permitting, you spend nearly your entire day outside, tinkering about with not a care in the world — well, besides watching your kids... I guess. And I, well, I spend my whole day watching.

To my surprise it was you who made the first move. You, chasing after your extremely small child shouting "spit that out" and me, gently stretching (doing a split) and praying you'd notice. I stare and I wait for our eyes to inevitably lock. Of course, it didn't take too long. You looked up at me, you saw me seeing you, and you waved hello. It was love at first sight. From that fateful wave our relationship has grown. You show your love for me by saying things like, "Good morning," and, "Hey there," and, "Is this too loud?" when playing the Frozen II soundtrack for your children (it's not but I'd rather you play Frozen I). You show me the bag of worms you ordered for gardening purposes which is probably gross but for whatever reason it makes me horny.

To my surprise, things between your wife and I are going well. She clearly sees me as a threat but, knowing how much I mean to you, has been remarkably kind. Recently, on one of those warmer days, I was sunbathing when out of the blue she yelled up asking if I wanted a popsicle. Who was I to turn down such a generous offer? I gratefully accepted and she threw a raspberry popsicle my way, as if to say, "I know you and my husband are in love and that's okay. We can make this work, together, as a family"

At the end of the day, quarantine would not be the same without you. Right now our budding feelings for each other can only flourish in our respective outdoor spaces, but I look forward to the day that our passion can blossom together. I long for the future, the future with you. Surely there will be challenges — like what will the children call me? Where will your wife go? And where will we purchase our second vacation home? There is no question though, that our love will overcome, for you are the Jason Mraz to my Colbie Caillat. How lucky am I to be in love with my best friend? Lastly, what is your name?

With love,

Photo courtesy of Marty Miller