Updated 7/10: Okay everyone, now Ariana has had to apologize, not once, but twice for what she is now calling the "doughnut fiasco" in this new video, where she claims to have never been prouder of America through almost literally gritted (or recently operated-upon) teeth.

This whole thing has moved far, far beyond ridiculous. Congrats on making Ariana Grande film a stupid apology video, America! You're doing great. Ariana: Maybe at this point you should make another video where you just lick a ton of doughnuts and throw them at the camera?

Somehow, Ariana Grande licking a doughnut has turned into a scandal of O.J. proportions (get it, because breakfast food). In addition to poking the bear of Rob Lowe with her completely reasonable "I hate America" comment in surveillance footage captured at a doughnut store (below), she's now being investigated (or something) by Lake Elsinore police and Riverside County public health officials for an act described with the words "maliciously lick," i.e. putting her icky tongue on a doughnut and then putting the pastry back. So, yeah, that is a little on the gross side, but shouldn't the doughnut shop just sell Ariana Grande-licked doughnuts for a lot more money, or something? People would totally buy them. Also, isn't it good to know that American law enforcement have their priorities straight? At the very least, the combination of surveillance culture, attacks on celebrity, and the inexplicable presence of Rob Lowe in this whole debacle will make for a great way of explaining our particular 21st century dystopia in future history books.
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