Last night in Charlotte Hall, Maryland, an urban beaver filled with a biological imperative to gnaw on timber and, we can only assume, THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT, broke into a Dollar General store to raise hell. Once inside, he sashayed directly to the holiday section (confidence is key here), and started browsing the Christmas trees, rummaging around the decorations, tearing items off the shelf and generally carrying on an heartwarming Yuletide rampage.
After what we can only assume was a lengthy Dollar Store staff huddle and Snapchat sesh, animal control was dispatched by the St. Mary's sheriff's department and the marauding beaver was safely captured. The sheriff's department tweeted that he was in the hands of a wildlife rehabilitator, who is hopefully helping him execute the Martha Stewart Living ornament urns of his wildest fantasies. Christmas beaver may be off the streets for now, but his legend will never be forgotten.