There's nothing more painful to listen to than a cliché that the entire culture has adopted and parrots on a regular basis, whether it's appropriate to the conversation or not. Sometimes a word or phrase will suddenly seep into the public's mind and everyone will instantaneously embrace it, repeating it until the cows come home (oops, that's a cliché) without bothering to think of a fresher way to express themselves. Hearing people robo-speak things like "You go, girl" or "Bring it on!" used to be the bane of my existence -- until a whole new set of clichés came along, since there's always a new horrible phrase waiting 'round the bend to punish my eardrums with over-familiarity. The only way to flush these trite sayings out of our lexicon is for me to list them here in shame, so we can bid them adieu as they walk off into the sunset of useless clichés and never come back. Let's end the locutionary laziness by banishing every syllable that's been uttered a million times before, with diminishing returns. No more idioms for idiots! Let's stop "enabling" this sort of thing! We must "prioritize"! Let's get them off of our communal "landscape"! Here are the most banal of the bunch, listed while "clutching my pearls":

"I can't even."

"I just can't."

"There are no words."

"Speechless."

"Tears."

"I'm efforting that as we speak."

"We should workshop that idea."

"We should make sure we're on the same page."

"At the end of the day…"

"Not a problem."

"It's all good"; "It is what it is"; "Everything happens for a reason."

"Epic fail". Or "epic" anything.

"Own it."

"That's so last century."

"That's so ironic."

"Hashtag"; any emoticon

"At least she didn't suffer."

"At least she's not suffering anymore."

"Don't overthink it."

"Awesome" or "amazing"

"You killed it last night"; "You really nailed it."

"My career's really blowing up." Or "exploding."


"A hot minute" or "a New York minute"

"That doesn't resonate as much as it used to." "It's palpable."

"I didn't sign up for that."

"For all intents and purposes…"

"Bye, Felicia!"

"That's a bottomless pit."

"Don't get bent out of shape over it."

"Baby daddy" or "baby mommy"

"I can't wrap my mind around that."

"Branding."

"Buzz"; "Sexy"; "Sexy buzz"

"It's the elephant in the room."

"Sorry, that's not really in my wheelhouse."

"Let it go."

"I want to give a shoutout to…"

"Shut the fuck up."

"LOL," "ROTFLMAO," "RIP," "Ha!"

"…Wait for it."

"She's batshit crazy" or "cray cray"

"I'm circling back around to see if you might be interested…."

"Hugs" or "big hug"

"He was up in my grill."

"The universe will provide."

"You never age. You must have a portrait in the attic."

"Please support my indiegogo campaign for my movie about my cat…."

"Don't engage."

"Pity party"

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Ugh!! That one really makes me weak. As for the cliché about how "You really threw me under the bus that time," can we please throw it under the bus? Done! There, that provides a window into who I am—an icon! As it were. Such as it is. Works for me. God, my plate is full. Newsflash: It's a gift. That's my dynamic. Whatever.

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