Fidget spinners, like heelies, hoverboards, Furbies, Beanie Babies, and those bait n' tackle feather hair extensions before them (remember those?), have taken an inexplicable hold on the hearts and minds of the American people. Used initially as a sensory tool for children with anxiety, ADHD and autism, fidget spinners have found their way into the mainstream, where they are now used as a tool to... spin... a thing or, whatever. As the world burns around us and we sink even further into our late capitalist malaise, people young and old seem to be taking great solace in watching the blades of their little fidget spinners spin round and round. We watch the revolutions of our fidget spinners, even as we realize that the real revolution may never come. Like the diets of our Tamagotchis, at least it's something that we can control.

It seems that we're in the fine atmosphere at the very peak of the fidget spinner trend. They were just parodied this weekend on SNL:

And as of today, you can celebrate the fidget spinner's ability to abate your anxious geo-political nail-biting by making them the theme of your next elaborate acrylic manicure.

When we look back on this period, huddled around small fires in our fledgling sewer colonies, I hope we smile.

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