The Best, Worst and Weirdest Of The Week

by Paper
</div> <br/>Best Celebrity Revelation of the Week: </font></b><font style="font-size: 1.25em;">That Sean Penn <a href="http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/sean-penn-is-team-kaitlyn-watches-bachelor-with-charlize-theron-2015133">is a fan of The Bachelor</a>. The <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7EPvmfDDlU">actor told Jimmy Kimmel</a> that he and his girlfriend Charlize Theron tune in to the dating show and, for the record, he's <a href="http://www.papermag.com/2015/03/the_new_premise_of_the_bachelo.php">#TeamKaitlyn</a>.</font><b><font style="font-size: 1.25em;"> -- Abby Schreiber <br/></font></b><br/> <br/><font style="font-size: 1.25em;"><b>Most Unique Way to Get A Massage: </b>"Breast Massages."<b> </b>Certified massage therapist <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/10/kristy-love-masseuse_n_3900970.html">Kristy Love</a> uses her size 48NN breasts -- weighing at 15.8 lbs each -- to 'squash' men during her massage sessions. How much will it cost you? $300/hr. -- <b>T.Y.</b></font><br/><br/><font style="font-size: 1.25em;"><b>Most Confused Antiwar Song:</b> <a href="http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2015/03/watch-reggie-watts-and-tears-for-fears-take-on-glo.html">"The Bomb Song,"</a> by Reggie Watts ft. the actual Tears For Fears guys! They go a little bit off-message at some point, realizing that the way to eliminate all bombs is to... bomb them... with lots more bombs. <b>-- J.R.</b><br/></font><br/><br/><font style="font-size: 1.25em;"><b>Worst Invention</b>: Pizza Condoms. A woman named Marina Malygina has created a condom that smells like pizza. Her <a href="http://munchies.vice.com/articles/the-pizza-condom-designer-thinks-her-creation-is-absolutely-disgusting">thoughts</a> on her creation? Exactly what we're all thinking: "Pizza and sex together -- that's just weird and incredibly disgusting." - <b>T.Y.</b><br/><br/><b>Craziest Fan Base:</b> The <i>Breaking Bad</i> community. Years after Walter White threw a pizza on his roof, people are making the pilgrimage to his house to <a href="http://www.salon.com/2015/03/11/the_walter_white_residence_is_under_attack_vince_gilligan_begs_fans_to_stop_throwing_pizza_on_the_roof/">reenact the scene</a>. The only problem is that there are people currently living there, who do not take kindly to having to clean cheese out of their gutters. Vince Gilligan, the creator of the show, even took to the <i>Better Call Saul</i> podcast to admonish his crazy fans. <b>-- E.S.</b><br/><br/> <div style="text-align: center;"><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-version="4" style=" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);"><div style="padding:8px;"> <div style=" background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:50% 0; text-align:center; width:100%;"> <div style=" background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAAGFBMVEUiIiI9PT0eHh4gIB4hIBkcHBwcHBwcHBydr+JQAAAACHRSTlMABA4YHyQsM5jtaMwAAADfSURBVDjL7ZVBEgMhCAQBAf//42xcNbpAqakcM0ftUmFAAIBE81IqBJdS3lS6zs3bIpB9WED3YYXFPmHRfT8sgyrCP1x8uEUxLMzNWElFOYCV6mHWWwMzdPEKHlhLw7NWJqkHc4uIZphavDzA2JPzUDsBZziNae2S6owH8xPmX8G7zzgKEOPUoYHvGz1TBCxMkd3kwNVbU0gKHkx+iZILf77IofhrY1nYFnB/lQPb79drWOyJVa/DAvg9B/rLB4cC+Nqgdz/TvBbBnr6GBReqn/nRmDgaQEej7WhonozjF+Y2I/fZou/qAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC); display:block; height:44px; margin:0 auto -44px; position:relative; top:-22px; width:44px;"/></div> <p style=" margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;"> <a href="https://instagram.com/p/0EwnbSlecE/" style=" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;" target="_top">"Don't all dogs go to heaven? Don't Gangsta's boogie? Do owl shit stank? Lions, Tigers & Bears. But TO PIMP A BUTTERFLY. Its the American dream nigga...." - lil Homie.</a></p> <p style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;">A photo posted by Kendrick Lamar (@kendricklamar) on <time style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;" datetime="2015-03-11T04:41:17+00:00">Mar 10, 2015 at 9:41pm PDT</time></p></div></blockquote> <script async="" defer="" src="//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js"/></div><br/><b>Best Album Title of the Week:</b> Kendrick Lamar's <i>To Pimp A Butterfly</i>. I have no idea what that phrase could mean, but I am READY to learn. The rapper <a href="http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/the-trials-of-kendrick-lamar-inside-the-new-issue-20150311">told <i>Rolling Stone</i></a> that it "will be taught in college courses someday." <strong>-- G.B.</strong><br/><br/><b>Most Fragrant, Sorry, <i>Flagrant</i> Understatement:</b> <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/15/nyregion/the-wet-wipes-box-says-flush-but-the-new-york-city-sewer-system-says-dont.html?smid=tw-nytimes&_r=0">"It's kind of gross."</a> That's sewage-treatment worker Michael Brady, talking about the barrage of wet wipes, which turn out to be indestructible, plaguing our sanitation systems. What did it feel like for this journalist to write the words, "The city has spent more than $18 million in the past five years on wipe-related equipment problems"? <b>-- J.R.</b><br/></font></div>

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