[ UPDATE, 08/04/16: So that peen shadow was definitely NOT an optical illusion. Here are the uncensored pics currently sending Twitter into meltdown mode.
Honestly this is what the world needs right now. Thank you, Orlando. And bless Katy Perry for her work as a supporter of Hillary Clinton...and for just living her best damn life on that paddleboard. Click here, here and here for the full peep.]
Everyone's reaction after seeing Orlando Bloom: pic.twitter.com/py1ayPI5tn
— Kick (@MatthewKick) August 4, 2016
Orlando Bloom, lover of life, was naked as fuck yesterday on his vacation in Italy with Katy Perry. Because if there's one thing Orlando will not stand for, it's an uneven tan.
FULL BLOOM: Orlando Bloom bares all on vacation with @katyperry https://t.co/xDWmgcQGKl pic.twitter.com/U7khHrP1IQ
— NY Daily News Gossip (@NYDNgossip) August 3, 2016
The New York Daily News, who also leaked Justin Bieber's nudes (and got into trouble for it), appear to have learned their lesson this time around and placed a black box over Bloom's Italian sausage roll.
why does orlando bloom's dick look like a black box pic.twitter.com/ZILRnPcQPY
— Christian Zamora (@Christian_Zamo) August 3, 2016
This has only made the Internet more curious.
waiting for the uncensored orlando bloom nudes pic.twitter.com/2tz3E7oCRl
— ️ (@antiIoud) August 3, 2016
Me searching for uncensored pictures of Orlando Bloom pic.twitter.com/qgZtiwsW03
— lahey (@dicaprio_irwin) August 3, 2016
Where's the uncensored pics of naked Orlando Bloom tho pic.twitter.com/KczXfA0SFA
— Tez (@TezAguilera) August 3, 2016
— Tyler Coates (@tylercoates) August 3, 2016
Some surmise that he is packing some serious heat, based on what is a suspiciously dickish shadow on his thigh.
Orlando Bloom could make world peace happen with this machine pic.twitter.com/Nrp1T4kwsq
— roman (@RomanNavy) August 3, 2016
omg Orlando Bloom pic.twitter.com/JC9klR2rvV
— neto (@arianaexplicits) August 3, 2016
And while we might never know if that is his true dickcast, what is for certain is that being famous fucking sucks.
splash photo by Billy Farrell/BFA.com