New TLC Dating Show 'Love At First Kiss' Looks...Upsetting

Kristen Stegemoeller

From the maniacal sociopaths that brought us The Bachelor comes TLC's new dating show, Love At First Kiss. The premise is quite simple - two sexy strangers are thrown onto a barren sound stage, and they make out without introduction, loudly and awkwardly for...too long. If the smoochin' was right, the pair goes on a speed date, and if that speed date goes well, they fall in love and get married and have babies.

Enjoy the gift/take the punishment of this clip from the show, where 31-year-old MMA fighter and quote machine Shondo hooks up with flame-haired 29-year old Amanda. In the lead-up to the kiss, Shondo describes himself as "a hunter" *hawk foley*. "I like to pick out a gazelle, and I like to track her down. I like to clip the back leg out from under her and I like to bite her in the back of the neck." So hot. He goes on to describe (and demo!) his signature kissing technique, called the "Whirly Dirly," and well, you should probably just see/hear for yourself...

Glorious. Disgusting. Although, TLC DID prove to us a long time ago that it's probably a good idea to kiss the person you love before things get too serious...

Sorry, not sorry.

Love At First Kiss premieres on August 3rd at 10pm/9c.

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