If you're not exactly thrilled to be conscious during Valentine's Day weekend, you may find some solace in Mona Delfino.
Delfino is an Oregon-based "born shaman," and internationally acclaimed "Energy Medicine Practitioner" and author of three books. She practices a form of healing based in reading the energy of a person's body, or 'Spiritual Immune System" (her book Your Spiritual Immune System, is out soon) with a licensed background in nursing, and neurology.
Delfino finds connections in "types" people are attracted to, firmly maintaining that romantic relationships we have in this life, have actually been happening, over and over again, in numerous past lives.
Mona blends these medical and spiritual notions while privately with clients over the phone, and in person (both $150 per session) on healing and strengthening their spiritual immune systems, which she believes is all tied to the human heart.
"If we don't know our emotions and we don't work with our emotions, then we are denying the heart; the heart is trying to speak to us," she says.
This emphasis on our bodily and emotional epicenter has many seeking Mona's expertise on romantic matters; specifically, Ms. Delfino works on "severing" fruitless emotional fixations, either with an ex-partner or unrequited love.
But Delfino cautions that her severing services aren't a magic wand. Before working with anyone, Mona makes clear that these love problems are DIY sabotage; in Mona's opinion, this healing is completely up to you.
"The way to get over this stuff is to recognize that, number one: these are choices that you are making. You are the driver of your own car. And number two: every relationship is a lesson. Usually people have to have their lessons through a relationship before they know who they are."
I asked Mona to elaborate more on this premise, and her unconventional method of 'severing.'
Why do you think a person, often times, have a hard time getting over someone else, even if they know that someone is not right for them?
They're still tied to this person in terms of who they must have been to them in a different lifetime; it's all part of past-life experiences.
We all come into life with pre-written contracts. We often meet these people over and over in different lives, if that contract is not learned the first time around. Everything is a lesson. So, if you didn't meet the requirements these spiritual contacts ask to be learned [in a prior life], there is insecurity based around this relationship, knowing that we've been with them before.
So we come back to do it again, to have a new opportunity to change that pattern. Now, in this life, maybe that person didn't change. Maybe that person decided they didn't want it. They're closed off. So how much are you giving back the love and appreciation that you deserve?
So, it's a part of self-love?
There you go. That's what needs to be noticed: we need to give ourselves back that love and appreciation. And if we don't have that for ourselves, then we are just taking chances in the world, and just letting anything happen. We are not recognizing what we need, deserve and desire.
And recognizing that is a way of filling your "contract" with these people and realizing them?
In this day and age, this desire of wanting a good partner comes from your spiritual vibration. So in other words, you lift your vibration with understanding more about love, because most people don't understand love.
How do you mean 'understand?'
Love is based in lessons according to how our world has treated us, in this life and past lives. We've had to learn lessons to understand the concept of love. We understand the love of love. But not real love. We like the idea of being loved. But we don't/didn't give ourselves back the permission to do it for ourselves.
In terms of the 'severing' process, give me an example of how you go about it with a client?
I listen. I feel who the person or ex is; I can tell who they are through their name -- it's their spiritual vibration. So a client will give me the vibration of the person they were dating, and couldn't shake, by saying their name out loud. It only takes me a minute. Because I'm not attached to it—I can just do it. I look at it, I look at the ex's name, I look at the client's name, and I can feel the compromise, I can feel the direction they're both going.
I can feel what's happening between them.
To cut a clear course takes a conscious connection to that person, and the client must imagine that if they were still attached to this former love, would they still feel the same about them as they did before? Then I envision taking the client and the ex in each hand, and I bring each of them back to the person they really are, separate of the relationship. I imagine them in front of me, and look them over, from head to toe. Through this mental imagery, I help them get back to who they're meant to be without each other; without the lingering influence that former relationship has left of one or both parties.
I then ask Mona to demonstrate this effect on a former flame and myself.
This person a big spirit, and the potential to be a role model for you. He's a go-getter. He goes, he goes, he does, he goes, and so on. You were left in the lurch. You were standing behind him and were looking at him from the observer point of view. He can't stay with anybody, though.
To be honest, he has the energy of wanting to be in the world with different people. He's good at one on one, and he gives a lot of advice, but he will never really truly be able to stay with one person.
Why was I drawn to him?
To preface, you haven't been ready for real love yet, and every time you go out with someone, you hesitate. And then you stop. It's because you were looking up to these people, not as equal.
I don't want you to freak out, but I want to tell you who this man was in your past life, so you can cure your imagery of him.
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY GOD DAMN SEAT)
He was actually a parent to you.
And it was many, many lifetimes ago. Like you, he's come back to explore and experience again. He has really good self-esteem, and he's a good role model in a lot of ways, but he can't sit still. I would take the way that you liked him and become that. In other words, what can you pull in yourself to help you be better in the world?
How would you bridge all of these profound ideas into one singular answer what it takes for a person to find a fulfilling relationship?
If you can step out of your way for a few minutes and look at your partner as an individual—somebody who has their own life and somebody who is doing what they need to do, without your own bloody expectations, or without your idea that they have to be more towards you or for you; you can actually see them for who they are. You can make your own decisions and if you really love somebody, don't expect that love to come back to you because that is not necessarily how that person decided that they want to live their life.
So, you should love indiscriminately?
Love is love, and once you understand that, you can start loving everybody. It doesn't mean you go to bed with everybody. Just you start loving people differently because you start seeing who they are. The biggest task in 2016? Become who you are.
POST-SEVER CHECK IN:
I can't say for certain if said energy split was truly felt, but there was definitely something powerful happening.
Past lives and spiritual vibrations aside, I did feel like I had a much clearer understanding of the situation than I ever had after our phone chat; I felt like Mona had tapped into something indescribable.
I was floored by her uncanny and unbelievable articulateness in describing my situation, truly without any prompting. Whatever intuition she possesses, I believe it; it's understated, palpable and completely comforting—even if you're the biggest skeptic.
Her practice is rooted in her unwavering confidence in a person's ability to cope, heal, and ultimately better themselves, through themselves.
A little severing with Mona could go a long way.