It's Family Week here on Papermag.com and who better to thwart the concept of familial togetherness than a bunch of white kids under the age of 15 who scream for their mommies to win $5? That's right, if you thought your baby cousins were bad, just wait till you get a load of the beloved Iowa State Fair competition known as "mom calling".

Because it's exactly what it sounds like -- visual birth control an organized competitive free-for-all that pits kids from Council Bluffs to Cedar Rapids against each other to see who is the whiniest of 'em all. There are various mom-calling styles -- some rely on storytelling skills with made-up scenarios ("MOM, I ran out of toilet paper" or "MOM, I missed the bus") while others give extra points going for waterworks and shrieks that would leave any mere mortal deaf. Below are a few of our favorite "Mom calls" -- just make sure you've already cancelled your plane tickets back home, or at least have a few Kpins on hand.

First off, a loop that demonstrates for which purpose Vine was actually invented:

And then these little demons:

And then these sisters who are actually kinda cute...

Not to mention this bonus video, which you should fast forward to 1:45 so you can bypass a stupid "husband-calling" contest that reinforces the "hysterical female harpy" trope.

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