I generally avoid saying anything that makes me sound like a cranky old person. You know how cranky olds say things like, "Nightlife today is lame. Now Area! That was a fun nightclub." You might as well just say, "Run! I'm over the hill and a big kill joy and I haven't gone out since 1999 because I just got tired." Still, I can't stop myself from asking a question that will brand me as a Cranky Old Person (or, fittingly, COP): What is wrong with these bands today who spell their names deliberately wrong? Like Deap Vally. What the hell is that about? It's not even a fun spelling pun like the Beatles. It's just changing the spelling so unhip people like me embarrass myself and spell it wrong. I mean, people used to say ChloÃ« Sevigny was pretentious for having an umlaut in her name but a bonus umlaut is nothing compared to spelling your band's name "Majical Cloudz." What is that J in "Majical" about? Don't get me wrong -- both Deap Vally and Majical Cloudz are included in our upcoming summer music issue and I j'adore them for their talent, but if you're going to mess with the spelling of your name at least be creative. A Z instead of an S at the end of a word is like naming your band after that animated film Antz.
There, I said it. And now that you know that I'm an old fool who doesn't understand the kids today, here is a list of other bands with crazy spellings that the kids are nuts for right now and that make me cranky.
Araabmuzik -- Again, anyone substituting a Z for an S should be forced to sit on a tack.
2 Chainz -- See above.
Cookie Monsta -- This one I actually like.
Krewella -- Why not just go for it and make it Krewella Duh Vyl?
Wavves -- Actually, this kind of has a nice look to it.
Altern8 -- This reminds me of the artist formerly known as the Artist Formerly Known as Prince.
CHVRCHES -- This one feels like ye olde Roman times. I take it all back, I'm starting to like these funny spellings.
Classixx -- Ok, I take that back, because Classixx with double Xs makes me puke!
Deadmau5 -- You cannot have the number five be an S. The number five doesn't sound like an S! Here is the proper use of a '5' in a band's name: The Jackson 5.
Headhunterz -- Again with a Z?
Redd Kross -- They get a pass for being legends and for spelling 'Redd' like Redd Foxx of T.V.'s Sanford and Son.
Xperience - I don't mind this. It sounds like a Designer Imposters version of Drakkar Noir.
SqÃ¼rl -- This I love. Who runs the world? Squirrels!