Famous for its notoriously difficult door policy, Berghain is the mythical, Berlin party playground for the chic, depraved and all-black-clad techno heads you've always wanted to party with. However, more often than not, you'll stand in line for a few hours in your 'freak supreme' look, only to be turned away by none other than lead bouncer Sven Marquardt, who's made it known that the selection process is actually pretty non-specific and very, very difficult to nail down.
Thankfully, you can now practice your bad German and angry stankface ahead of your trip to "Techno Church" with the aptly named Berghaintrainer, which analyzes your voice, body language and answer to 3 random questions to determine whether you'd make the cut IRL. Full disclosure, it's fucking hard to get in -- and this is coming from two people who've made it past Sven before (including our shirtless contributor Gary "That's The Way You Get In" Pini, who is lowkey techno royalty, but whatever). Try your own luck here and prepare to feel real lame.