Agents work a lot and make tons of money and scream at people on the phone. We're sure he is very busy! But not too busy to devote himself to his lady love, Lady Gaga. He even has a giant tattoo of her face, based on a photo from a 2011 V Magazine spread.
Carino's Instagram, which we've been obsessively perusing since Gaga confirmed that the two were engaged, is essentially the world's most intimate stan page. We went off the deep end and did a deep dive. There are so many pictures of Stefani Germanotta living her beautiful life, which apparently includes a lot of baseball. There are mini-ponies! The whole page is even littered with classic "come to Brazil" comments. What a journey.
Turns out that apparently Carino only got an Instagram to document his love of Gaga. His first 21 posts are all blurry shots from the Joanne tour, the exact kind of pictures you'd expect a middle-aged dad to take. Gaga doesn't seem to mind! We don't either! Christian Carino, you stan Gaga, and we also stan you.
Here's a BTS look at Gaga's dramatic arrival at the Venice Film Festival (perfect for this wholly Eye-talian couple). Her face is mostly obscured by Carino scooching across a speedboat, but you get the idea. She yells! She laughs!
The piéce de resistance: Gaga with mini-ponies. Mini! Ponies! They are Gaga's (though Carino also has two adorable pugs), their names are Sandy and Gracie, she rides them to help with her chronic pain, and they are perfection.