Trouble with love? Work problems? Mercury retrograde? Don't worry. Rapper, author of the forthcoming novel O.K. (Sorry House), and expert astrological navigator, Kool A.D. will safely guide you through the coming month.
CANCER, PISCES, and LEO are all big gun and psychedelics
signs, astrologically-speaking, so if u notice that I tell y'all to do
psychedelics and shoot, buy, sell, trade or steal guns a lot, that's
why. Anyway CANCER, for U in partic, I'd recommend some psychedelic
drugs and gun shooting this month. Like more than usual, even.
take psychedelics and shoot guns with a Cancer. Watch some Italian
movies while drinking whiskey with ur signif other. If ur single all
this would make a great 1st date.
Take a selfie. Touch ur nose and say the alphabet
backwards. Drop and give me twenty push ups. Say "yeah" and then say
A lot of walking this month. A lot of long, sidewinding
conversations about essentially nothing. Spend time around animals
and/or children. Buy two TVs with 2 VCRs and a VHS copy of Fresh Prince
and a VHS copy of Fraiser and watch them both at the same time. Open a
"pop-up" restaurant/art gallery in ur house.
BIG MAMA THORNTON, NINA SIMONE, BILLIE HOLIDAY AND DAWN
PENN WALK INTO A BAR, BARTENDER'S LIKE "JAH RASTAFARI ALLAH HU AKBAR
CHANGO YEMAYA YEMAYA"
Write and record an
album of rock and roll music this month. Literally any idea that pops
into ur head, do that. Front me 1 pound of OG Kush.
Drive to the beach. Throw a plum into the ocean and say
"YEMAYA." Find a pair of black low top Vans lying right there on the
sand. They're ur size. Throw them in a washer/dryer, those puppies come
out brand new. Wear them to a BBQ.
Acquire a steel watch. Get high on medicinal grade edible marijuana and listen to the new Snoop album. Buy a lotto ticket.
Steal that date idea from LEO or whatever maybe just focus
on work cause it's kinda busy this month. Eat a nectarine. Front me a
pound of OG Kush. Naw just playing but if u need a pound of OG Kush,
holler at ur boy.
Bruh. BRUH. FRONT ME 1 POUND OF naw just playin. Matterfact U need that loud pack I got that on the low how many plates U thinking. NAW but seriously, the stars are lining up 4 U this month in a major way. Listen to In A Major Way by E-40. Listen to Lightning Hopkins. Apply for that job I feel like u'll get it. If u don't, fuck it, who cares. Take art seriously, especially ur own. Art is at the root of all labor maybe or also whatever who cares. Jah Rastafari, Allah, El Espiritu Santo, Yemaya.
Watch the new Mad Max movie, take a road trip, fire a gun.
Watch the Godfather trilogy again. Read Caucasia by Danzy Senna. Listen
to the Kinks, Strawberry Alarm Clock, Dr. John and Little Walter. Go to
an art museum.
Take hella baths this month. Like 4 or 5 a day even. Fuck "conserving water" man these fuckers should be building ocean desalination plants is what the fuck they should be doing, the earth's like what 90% water or some shit right? So the fuck U mean a drought? Y'all mean to tell me accredited scientists were paid to come up with cappuccino flavored Lay's potato chips but nobody can find the time to take the salt out of saltwater? Fuck outta here. Y'all figure that shit out, meanwhile ima be taking a bath.