Trouble with love? Work problems? Mercury retrograde? Don't worry. Rapper, author of the forthcoming novel O.K. (Sorry House), and expert astrological navigator, Kool A.D. will safely guide you through the coming month.
LEO Get a beer with a Cancer and a Scorpio. Watch Scarface. Sell cocaine. Book a trip to Hawaii. Paint a portrait.
VIRGO Hook up with a Sagittarius. Drink dark rum. See a 3D movie on acid. Drink a Coca Cola. Ride a horse. Steal a painting.
LIBRA First off, congrats. Also, read Aime Cesaire's Discourse
on Colonialism. Go surfing with an Aquarius. Spend some QT with another
Libra. Listen to Arthur Lee records while drinking wine and smoking a
SCORPIO Exercise is crucial, bro. Go jog or something. Jogging is not a crime. Skateboarding is not a crime. Do an ollie. Do a nollie no- comply into the bowl and shred a bit. Do a mac nugget. I made that trick up, ask Chris Cole. Look at Nyjah Huston videos and emulate that style. Play chess and use the Ruy Lopez opening.
SAGITTARIUS Get some pupusas. Get high off cannabis tincture and
listen to Black Sabbath, MotÃ¶rhead and Thin Lizzy. Set something on
fire at some point this month. Buy a bottle of dark rum and place it on
ur front door step the night of the full moon.
CAPRICORN Spend some time with a Virgo. Read a Haruki Murakami
novel. Listen to DJ Mustard: 10 Summers and Meek Mill: Dreamchasers 1, 2
and 3. Listen to Souljah Boy: M & M and that other Souljah Boy that
just came out.
AQUARIUS No pork this month. This should be easy for all u
Muslims and Jews out there. August is a pretty Muslim and Jewish month.
Say JAH RASTAFARI next time ur about to hang up the phone. Wear an
Oakland A's fitted at some point this month, literally or even just
spiritually. Go surfing with a Libra. Oh yeah and congrats.
PISCES Finish an old project. Sniff a line of cocaine and a line
of heroin. That's called a speedball, it feels crazy right? Watch
American Psycho while listening to Yeezus. Find a dog and take it for a
ARIES Call up a Gemini to check in. On the full moon, light a Guadalupe candle and a Siete Potencias Africanas candle, take a sip of dark Cuban rum and spit it into a potted plant then tell the plant all of ur dreams this month.
TAURUS Read the new Ta-Nehisi Coates book. Watch La Danza de
Realidad. Listen to Alice Coltrane: Journey in Satchidananda. Smoke
hookah. Drink Lapsang Souchong and a mimosa.
GEMINI Pick a project u already started and finish it. Call an Aries. Listen to A Love Supreme by John Coltrane. Sit in a cedar hot tub if at all possible. Have fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice with tequila and watch The Grand Illusion. Go vegan.
CANCER Get a beer with a Scorpio and a Leo. Shoplift a piece of candy then leave it in a church, temple, mosque, synagogue, ashram or other place of worship. Buy or steal a white candle and light it on the full moon. Toss a penny into a body of water. Paint a room or piece of furniture.