Harper's Bazaar sent their Executive Editor extraordinaire, Laura Brown, to interview Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West at their Bel Air "temporary" camelot.
The resulting conversation, in addition to the stunning photos taken by none other than Karl Lagerfeld, and styled by Carine Roitfeld, mix together for a truly legendary piece.
The quotes, as you'd expect, are next-level Kimye.
Here is a rapid fire roundup of Kanye and Kim's best quips:
On their favorite body parts (on themselves and each other):
Kanye: My favorite body part of Kim's: heart.
Kim: Awww, now I have to say the same. But of my own, I like my upper stomach. I just seem to always have abs.When I'm not really pregnant, I have a great two-pack. [Laughs.] And of Kanye's? I have to say his heart. And I've always loved his legs.
On their favorite Taylor Swift song:
Kanye: I don't have one.
Kim: I was such a fan of hers.
On which historical figure they most identify with:
Kanye: Us? Muhammad Ali, Marilyn Monroe—all day. Next question.
On their hidden talents:
Kim: I can smell when someone has a cavity. It's a very specific smell—not a bad-breath smell—but something that is really strong.
Kanye: I can analyze people's intentions. Immediately. That's just a warning. To everyone.
Kanye on Kim's naked selfies:
Kanye: I love her nude selfies. Like, I love the ones from the side, the back ones, and the front. I just love seeing her naked; I love nudity. And I love beautiful shapes. I feel like it's almost a Renaissance thing, a painting, a modern version of a painting. I think it's important for Kim to have her figure. To not show it would be like Adele not singing.
Kanye on his own naked selfies:
Kanye: I used to do nude selfies in my single days.You'd get a good cock shot here and there. [Laughs.] Gotta keep it rock 'n' roll.
Kanye: Yeah, I think she has vanity. And with me, I don't give a fuck, bro; it is what it is. I'm the best—now what? I don't know if that's a vain statement. I don't particularly like photos of myself, though.
Kim: Yeah, what is the definition of vain? I want to look up exactly what the definition is.[Googles.] Vain, definition: "having or showing an excessively high opinion of one's appearance, abilities, or worth."
On what they would do if they could go invisible:
Kanye: Women's locker room.
Kim: I would probably creepily follow my kids around, see how they act, see what they talk about. I record my daughter just talking because the things she says are so funny. I could watch her talk all day.
On what they would bring to a deserted island:
Kim: My kids. My phone.
Kanye: Not me. [Laughs.] I would bring my laptop and the Internet.
Header photo via Harper's Bazaar, shot by Karl Lagerfeld