CAPRICORN

The Quadrantids Meteor shower is an annual astrological event in early January and it's one of those things that makes Capricorns hella blessed and brilliant, y'all birthday season is supercharged and u got an edge from that. This year ur meteor shower is around midnight on the night of the 3rd, if that's ur bornday then it's fuckin lit, turn up. If not, turn up still. Ur intentions will reverberate back at u at roughly 2 to 4 times the intensity as usual. Good time to use psychedelics, have multiple orgasms and play competitive sports. Drink a touch more liquor in this moment, over say beer or wine even. It's all about energy release and exchange.

AQUARIUS

Beyond time and space, the difference between nothing and everything spins its silky cocoon. Reshoot Star Wars on ur phone with that as the opening line. Or maybe just reshoot it in ur mind. We live in an age where we're constantly feeding the machine. The machine ostensibly feeds us back collectively but who's to say who reaps the majority of the benefits from this reciprocal exchange. It's prob best to take a break from feeding the machine sometimes and just feed the self. Especially in such times of seasonal flux as this, Aquarius. Like Capricorn u should drink a touch of liquor this month, like a touch more than usual. Maybe drink some liquor with a Capricorn even.

PISCES

Soak in a sensory depravation tank for like 3 hours at least, then smoke weed and maybe eat a taco. Watch that Aziz Ansari show on Netflix, while making pasta. Make a playlist of every song mentioned by Haruki Murakami in any of his books or short stories and make pasta to it. Wait, never mind, I just found one here. Watch this music video again:

ARIES

Read some Lorca, watch El Tiempo Entre Costuras. Listen to some Raphael Saadiq. Low-key, mellow vibes all month. Vibe with ur senses. Fruits, juices, teas, drink some ice water, ride that beverage wave, explore beverages. U just jumped some hurdles, enjoy it, stretch ur legs for the next ones. forgive a Scorpio, forgive an Aquarius again. Forgive Everybody, including urself. Life is eternal, existence is infinite, death is nothing, love is everything, love is free, freedom is love, God is a word that falls short of the thing it describes, so does every other word tho.

TAURUS

U have been majorly slugging it out Taurus, u and Gemini both the past couple months or so I don't know if I've been giving u enough due here. U been really doing the damn thing. Taurus is, as I think I may have mentioned before, an Ecstatic Labor sign. So is Scorpio, and in these times of Celestial flux, Taurus and Scorpio tend to make a good team. Feel free to outsource to a Scorpio if ur feeling busy. In turn, if a Scorp comes to u with a business proposal, take them up on it. Trust the guidance of an Aquarius this month. Taurus relationships with Aries are sometimes tumultuous but very crucial for universal balance. U probably find urself coming back to tend and mend ur Aries relationships frequently, that doesn't mean they're in disrepair, it just means that's how they work.

GEMINI

All language is pidgin, all faith is syncretic. Forgive all music as a necessary shedding of human sadness. U never shed sadness, tho, it just dissolves into fear. Telepathy is the oldest human technology but the key to its longevity is that it always seems so new. I'm the best astrologist. KOOL A.D. BEST ASTROLOGIST OF ALL TIME REMEMBER THAT. UR WORD FOR THE MONTH IS 'KUJICHAGULIA.' PEACE TO THE SOULS AND FAMILIES OF QUINTONIO LEGRIER AND BETTIE JONES. PEACE TO THE SOUL AND FAMILY OF TAMIR RICE. LOVE IS EVERYTHING. LOVE IS ALL AROUND U. WE R ALL PERFECT, WE WILL ALL DIE & RECOMBINE IN 2 EVERYTHING OVER & OVER 4EVR. FEAR WILL DIE. THERE IS A FEELING BEHIND THE IMMEDIATELY PERCEIVED REALITY THAT CAN BE APPREHENDED IN A DARK AND QUIET STILLNESS. KEEP TRYING TIL U DIE OR ALSO MAYBE U WON'T EVEN DIE CONSIDER THAT OPTION. A LOT OF ASPECTS OF THIS REALITY ARE WACK AND WILL FIND THEMSELVES EXTINCT. DEATH IS A CONCEPT THAT MASKS, REVOLVES, PUNCTUATES, BUT ONETHING IT CAN'T DO IS LIVE. ALL LIFE IS ETERNAL, ALL EXISTENCE IS INFINITE, DEATH IS NOTHING. SWAG INFINITY, SWAG IMMACULATE, OUR HEARTS ARE A THOUSAND DIAMONDS. MY SPIRITUAL POETICS ARE UNDENIABLE. CARVE A CAVE IN THE AIR WHERE UR THOTS CAN LIVE. YA TU. ENDLESS FUNK SADLY SPRINGS FORTH FROM ENDLESS PIMPIN YET BEHOLD THAT SAME PIMPIN HAS PEOPLED THE EARTH, IS THE NATURE OF MAN 2 SIN DOE? NAY! RELIGION IS OFT ADMINISTERED IN A COWARDLY FUNCTION BUT THE CONCEPT OF GOD DROPS LIKE A GENTLE STRAIN O HONEY 2 TH' BRAIN. U ONLY TALK ABOUT "GOD" WHEN U NEED "GOD" THAT'S HOW LANGUAGE WORKS. BETTER THAN TALKING IS THINKING. AY DIOS MIO ALLAH CHANGO ALLAH JAH RASTA SWAG STUPENDOUS,STONED IMMACULATE, SWAG PERPENDICULAR, THE PLASMATIC AND PRISMATIC CONVERGE, WOW. BUT YAL DON'T HEAR ME THO. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY: PEACE TO THE SOULS AND FAMILIES OF QUINTONIO LEGRIER AND BETTIE JONES AND TAMIR RICE Y TODOS EL RESTO.

CANCER

Download this album and listen to it constantly.

LEO

Watch Scarface. Did I already tell u to do that? Watch it again. I think Leo is a very Scarface-orientated sign so watch Scarface hella times. Mostly the Al Pacino one but the old-timey one goes super hard too. Watch Breathless and then the Richard Gere Breathless remake? Did I tell u to do this already? Naw, I think I told Pisces to do that. But u should catch up to Pisces and do it too if u haven't already. Also put a Cancer on to that one too, I forgot to tell Cancer but they should be on that too, it's a great double feature, almost medicinal, it's the cinematic equivalent of a weed brownie. Oh and watch this.

VIRGO

Real love. Ur searching for a real love. Someone to set ur heart free. Look no further than urself. U are the love of ur life, and whomever it is u end up sharing ur life with will bask in the warm glow of that love. Don't care about what they may say, don't care about what they may do, keep that positive mental attitude. Waterfalls, rivers and lakes, precious rubies, diamonds, value is subjective, life is hectic. Ur back, u never left, u were always there and ur always here, now.

LIBRA

Play some piano. Live, love, laugh. Talk to ur mom. Life comes at u fast, roll with the punches, one scene at a time, feel me. Take a sip of red wine and gaze at Teoilhuicatzli, the Great and Venerable Mechanism of the Universe. Just as letters can combine into fictive realities, so can numbers. Language is not merely a means of describing the world but a means of shaping it too. Think about radio waves, how do those work? When Guglielmo Marconi invented the radio the King of Italy made him a duke or a knight or something

SCORPIO


The proof as they say, is in the pudding. The proof of the pudding itself is, as they say, in the eating. Why did Steve Harvey have to break Miss Colombia's heart? Why did Bush knock down those towers? It's the questions. Why they say never say never when they know that ain't right cause to say never say never u done said never twice. Who was Albert Einstein? Who cares? Who was Malcolm X? A sick bro, methinks. Who was Gandhi? Nice enough dude, I suppose. Who are u? Lamp with a Gemini and a Libra. Buy a book for an Aquarius and a book for an Aries. Move to Mexico.

SAGITTARIUS

January is a great month for Sagittarius to destroy police property. Also, re-binge-watch Scandal and House of Cards, listen to Killer Mike, Danny Brown, Fat Tony, UGK, Three 6 Mafia, 8 Ball and MJG, and Z-Ro. Do 100 pushups. Try to watch the Quadrantids Meteor Shower on the 3rd with an Aquarius or a Capricorn. Read some Charles Bukowski. It's going to be an industrious year for u. Turn ur swag up to 11. To borrow from the old Confucian proverb: Crank it, Steve.







You May Also Like