The internet conspiracy mill that gave us the gem that was Katy Perry as grown-up Jon Benet Ramsey has given us yet another juicy, byzantine theory. This one makes some pretty shocking accusations about One Direction member Louis Tomlinson, accusing his new baby Freddy, born in January, not only of being not Louis's baby, but in fact a careful cover so Louis can continue his torried relationship with fellow One Directioner Harry Styles (a relationship nicknamed Larry, or Larry Stylinson, or even Houis to 'shippers). Buzzfeed laid out the timeline for what could be a masterful work of misdirection by publicists or (more likely) the fevered dreams of One Direction fans who've invested a lot of personal happiness in Larry being real.
It begins almost a year ago, with the creation of a Twitter feed called @Brianafacts, which purports to be a fan account to support the alleged mother of Baby Freddy, Briana Jungwirth. And it goes all the way down to photos from just last month of Dad and Possibly Sham Baby. And now, a rundown of the main points Babygate truthers have uncovered to prove that Louis is not only not a father, but also that Sham Baby Freddie might not exist at all.
During a 1D show, after the pregnancy was rumored, Louis caught a baby doll on stage and then chucked it into the audience, saying, "It's not real." He's been speaking truths since the beginning, guys.
Tomlinson's tweet announcing the birth of his son might not have been written by him. Apparently, Louis is noted for his unique typing style, namely keeping a space between his words and his exclamation points. Never the twain have met (in Tomlinson's Twitter feed) until this announcement.
Alleged Mother Briana Jungwirth's photos around the birth of Freddie strongly resemble a lifestyle blogger's photos. Two women, cradling babies for maximum cuteness/flattering angles, have settled on similar shots. Also, they both like navy blue and stripes.
Baby Freddie looks shockingly like the baby had by the head of One Direction's PR firm. A tiny, wrinkly, hairless creature looked like another tiny, wrinkly, hairless creature. (Both babies also bear a passing resemblance to Winston Churchill--how deep does it go?)
Louis photos with his Alleged Baby are all in black and white, while the rest of his Instagram feed is in screaming color. Why could that be...
Could it be because the photos with Freddie are expert works of photoshop manipulation? Several Tumblr users say yes! They have painstakingly examined and assessed photos of Louis and Freddie to determine whether the two are even touching each other.
Wanderlust for Wonderland/mycitybythebay.tumblr.com
Louis's extensive ink is not always visible in the photos, and fans have taken to minutely examining what tattoos are visible or missing. Presumably they will also then provide us with a list of Louis Tomlinson body doubles who are staging these photos.
Tomlinson has a Trumpian problem as well. His hands, they're just too small to be holding that baby.
Pictures of the Possibly Sham Baby's feet look like pictures of plastic doll baby feet. This is also why the baby is always shot in black and white--to disguise the fact that he is a doll.
If this information has not swayed your opinion about the validity of Louis Tomlinson's baby, then perhaps the latest photo from his Instagram will set your mind at ease. It shows Possibly Sham Baby Freddy with his eyes wide open, feet splayed, in full color.