Are you Zone Plane 8?

After creating TV shows, directing music videos and a movie and proselytizing the Totino's lifestyle, Tim & Eric have announced that they've written a book and are starting a "game-changing life system." Called Tim & Eric's Zone Theory: 7 Easy Steps to Achieve a Perfect Life, the book promises to "instantly provide wellness, happiness, and total, absolute fulfillment."

Sure, that's all well and good, but what does it actually mean? Judging by the infomercial, above, featuring testimonials from T&E's signature potpourri of humans (shoutout to Tennessee who is also a member of the Totino's lifestyle), there are seven steps you must do and seven zone planes you must reach (but you really want to reach zone plane 8) before achieving a perfect life. There's also something about having diarrhea "in a spaghetti pot," engaging in nude horseplay and worshiping a turkeyman named Ba'hee Priss Dimmie.

Apparently it's so clear and easy, "any kind fuck freak can do this" -- any kind of fuck freak so long as they have a penis. Sorry ladies, apparently this isn't for us. Dudes, on the other hand, get your spaghetti pots ready.

Pre-order a copy of the book, which comes out July 7th, HERE and check out their informative website.
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