How Will This Year's VMA Artists Hold Up to the Best Performers of Yore?

by Hesta Prynn

In this weekly column, MC/DJ Hesta Prynn pairs pop culture stories with an original playlist.








</div> <br/><b>1. Britney Spears Comes of Age to "Oops I Did It Again" - "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus </b><br/><br/> Miley are you okay? In your eyes we still see the performing arts kid and while we kind of don't believe you're actually taking Molly or having threesomes we can't help but wonder just what is going on with that hair? Sigh. We remember when you were tamely dancing onstage with a stripper pole just a few short VMAs ago.<br/><br/> <div style="text-align: center;"> </div> <b><br/>2. Madonna "Like a Virgin" Wedding Dress Floor Writhing - "Applause" by Lady Gaga</b><br/><br/> Gaga we live for you, we forgive your entire last album and don't even care that you cancelled your tour due to hip surgery yet show no surgery scars. Please give us a Madonna-worthy moment that we won't forget.<br/><br/> <div style="text-align: center;"> </div> <br/><b>3. Eminem's Sea of Look Alikes - "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake</b><br/><br/> Dear JT,<br/><br/>It's been a hot minute, seems like things are going really well for you. Honestly we couldn't be happier. So anyway, the guys and I were talking and we were thinking that maybe we could <a href="http://www.papermag.com/2013/08/nsync_vmas_dossier.php">reunite on the VMAs</a>, you know, maybe dress up like puppets and hang from the ceiling, you could beatbox, no bigs. What do you say?<br/><br/>Best,<br/><br/>Chris Kirkpatrick <br/><br/> <div style="text-align: center;"> </div> <br/><b>4. Beyonce's Pregnancy Reveal - "Black Skinhead" by Kanye West</b><br/><br/> Being "controversial" on MTV is equivalent to revealing your baby's photo on the final episode of Kris Jenner's talk show. (Huh?) <a href="http://instagram.com/p/dXNeoVOS6O/#">Cute kid</a> tho.<br/><br/> <div style="text-align: center;"></div> <br/><b>5. Nirvana Being Themselves and Killing It -  "Same Love" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis</b><br/><br/> Please just award everything to these guys. They put out a hip-hop song that encourages people to wake the fuck up and smell the human rights. They deserve it all.<br/><br/>

Subscribe to Get More