I love New York City and couldn't imagine living anywhere else—except maybe Dollywood—but occasionally, this town becomes oppressive, stifling, and not as thrilling as it once was. I asked a bevy of fabulous New Yorkers what bugs them about our great city, and they responded with some delicious disses.

SONJA MORGAN, Real Housewives of New York

"Charging stations and wifi. Worst idea ever. No one has time. And those who do are stopping up the sidewalk in an already busy working city. What did that cost us? So much spending while garbage, subway, and gridlock are getting worse."

TIM MURPHY, Gays Against Guns activist, journalist, novelist

"I hate being hungry and paying $16 for a 'lunch bowl' of artisanal farm products that come in a bowl the size of a condiment server!"

PARKER POSEY, actress

"The intercom systems on subways! I've never been able to understand what they're saying!"

DEBI MAZAR, actress and TV personality

"1. Traffic is hideous 2. Too many cranes and too much construction. All the sunlight is being taken away by skyscrapers. 3. No local cab drivers left. All taxi drivers now have to depend on a navigation app and look at their phones instead of the road. 4. Brooklyn became hip and too $. 5. There is no more Bill Cunningham in the New York Times. 6. They still allow horses (with their noses attached to tailpipes) to drag tourists around in carriages. I love the subway, though."

DAPHNE RUBIN-VEGA, actress

"I love New York with a passion! But I hate feeling the need to give someone my lunch before I actually get to it. Lots of hungry in New York."

JACKIE HOFFMAN, actress/comic

"The fucking sirens."

ROB ROTH, director/performer/videographer

"As someone who has been riding my bike in NYC for decades (before bike lanes), I now have a new obstacle to watch for in the form of tourists on Citibikes, dodging them like a video game or trying to get past a gaggle of them slowly weaving back and forth looking at anything but where they are going. Can we make an express bike lane for NYC locals? Beep beep! MOVE!"

LYNN YAEGER, Vogue writer

"So many good flea markets in Manhattan have closed—some of them were on empty lots that got built on. And the semi-annual Pier Show isn't happening anymore, and I'm devastated."

COLMAN DOMINGO, actor, director, and playwright

"I live on the West Side, and friends who live on the East Side insist that there are great places to eat there. NOT! I always suggest dinner in my neighborhood because it is truly vibrant and hosts some of the best eating and people watching in the city. Let's be honest--the West Side is where it's at!"

BILL COLEMAN, Owner, Peace Bisquit Records

"I hate that it seems that newer transplants to NYC seem to have a greater sense of entitlement without putting in the hours. Never hope more than you work. Earn it!"

ROSIE O'DONNELL, comic, actress, commentator [Long Island-born Rosie lives in New Jersey and spends a lot of time in NYC]

“The smell of urine on the subway."

PENNY ARCADE, writer/performer

“I hate that New York is no longer the mysterious urban beast it once was. Even people who moved here two weeks ago hate the suburbanization of New York. People used to come to New York to be part of it all and they still do, but now there is a migration of people who would have never left the suburbs and they want New York to be like where there from. They need KMart and Sears and Target. New York has been invaded--by America!! NYC has gone from being The Big Apple--Sin City--to being the Big Cupcake--mecca of the infantilized masses."

MICHAEL LUCAS, gay porn mogul

“I hate how so many landlords are jacking up their rents and driving out stores and restaurants that have been there for years. Especially when when the only thing they can find to fill those storefronts are banks, or not even banks: Just small rooms full of ATMs. Ghost banks."

SCOOTER LAFORGE, artist

“I hate when old, beautiful buildings get torn down and replaced with ugly new ones, and I hate how it's ALWAYS someone's birthday. (I don't celebrate mine.) I buy birthday presents and pay for someone's dinner almost on a daily basis."

Also: MICHAEL MUSTO, kvetch

'“Entitled people who want to micromanage every part of the environs, desperate to turn New York into Connecticut….Outlandish Broadway ticket prices (even if I get in free)…The growing proliferation of banks. If they have so much money to open outlet after outlet, how come they can't afford to give better CD rates?....Bottle service. The overpriced booze attracts dumb people who somehow have good credit…The sheer horror of weekend subway service, when the D is running on the F line, but nobody told you…Kvetchers."


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Photography by Silvia Draz / Styling by Craig Hemming and Caitlin Forbes